10 o’clock list: Kenyon Turn-Ons

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Now we all bust a nut for guac in the servery or when a professor cancels class, those are your basic college student turn-ons; but what about those niche habits or occurrences that only happen here, within the insular, physically fragile walls of Kenyon College? So, because I know you were wondering, here’s a list of what really makes Kenyon kids kinky like nothing else:

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10 o’clock list: Uses for your liberal arts degree when no one will hire you

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Has it just hit you that you aren’t going to be the next Allison Janney? Have you just realized that all the people who care that you know what free indirect discourse is are all sitting in the same room? Are you graduating in less than a year with no idea what to do with yourself? Aren’t you glad your skill set is both narrow and UTTERLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH CAPITALISM? Well lucky ducky you, here are five uses for your liberal arts degree when no one will hire you:

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10 o’clock list: Activities That Could Potentially Be Second Base

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Some say it’s over-the-clothes heavy petting, others say it’s a little bit of hanky panky with the peepees and weenies, but the fact of the matter is that “second base” is an ambiguous intimate activity that no one is quite sure how to define. We all know first base is kissing, third base is sex, and fourth base ghosting, but here’s a few things second base might refer to:

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10 o’clock lists: Nine Conversation Starters for your Awkward Pregame Small Talk

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We’ve all been there, it’s a birthday party for a friend of a friend or hosted by a club you just joined. You get there thirty minutes late because you don’t want to be the first person there but when you arrive there are only four people in the room. The Franzia has just been opened and everybody is still profoundly sober. You know you can’t just stand by the door awkwardly, you have to make chit chat. Small talk. Exchange pleasantries. It’s a nightmare. But never fear, below are a few conversation starters to help you get through the night.

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10 o’clock list: Groups that will fight over the Great Wall on Campus

With the boarding up of Olin and Chalmers Library and a robust first-year class to boot, Kenyonites this year find themselves scrambling for coveted study spaces. Where are we to weep over esoteric theory readings? How will we disrupt our peers with our ill-timed and ill-placed procrastination chatter? Fret not, children, for though God Gund taketh, he also giveth us a hundred yards of free, fresh, plywood real estate. And thus the turf wars to end all turf wars was born! Who will conquer the campus’ great ass wall? Here are a few of our favorite picks:

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10 o’clock list: KAC Amenities I’ll Miss Most Post-grad

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I love you

 

As a graduating senior, I’ve been saying a lot of hard goodbyes recently. I just had my last academic class ever. Soon, I’ll be saying goodbye to all my underclassmen friends and before you know it I’ll graduate and will be thrust, quivering and raw, into the real world. All goodbyes are different: somethings I’m happy to see the last of, others I’m not sure I can bear to let go. The KAC is in the latter category. That beautiful, shimmery behemoth tugs at my heartstrings every time I see it. Here’s what I’ll miss most about my sporty baby. Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Jokes I Will Never Stop Telling

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Hello everyone it is I, the Repeats Their Jokes Goblin! And boy oh boy, what a nightmare of a semester this has been. Winter lasted until late April, the campus is being torn up all around us, NightWorld chaos has erupted within our very library, the things we anticipated the most have been disastrous looks into our dark selves, and of course we are on the precipice of Sendoff. That’s right, we are staring headlong into the biggest party weekend of the semester, featuring three refugees from an alien dystopia in identical white turtlenecks playing computer noise at us before a hard cut into Kenyon’s premiere sadboi indie pop group, and of course, a party literally named for containing wild animals. Continue reading