“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” — Paul Newman himself.

As some of you may know, today marks Kenyon’s celebration of the 1987 Oscar win of celebrated alum, actor, snack magnate and all-around h@wtie Paul Newman ’49. If you’re a Newman purist who chooses to celebrate this momentous day with some good, clean fun, here’s a link to his biography, available now on Amazon. If you prefer to honor Paul (yes, I call him Paul, we’re tight like that) the Kenyon way by engaging in Newman Day shenanigans, chances are that at 7:00 p.m., you’re already too incoherent to read this. Go lie down.