AI Tells All: The True Identities of Kenyon’s Elite

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Ever since digital artist Trevor Paglen uploaded his ImageNet Roulette project to the web, I’ve been obsessed. I’ve spent hours furiously uploading photos to be compared with the database and anxiously waiting for my new identity to be spit out. Am I a nonsmoker? A fighter pilot? A colleen? I hunger to know. I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks. My friends are getting worried. Deadlines have come and gone, but all I can do is give the beast what it wants. The only thing that could save me from the grips of this illness would be to happen upon an image able to expose our true reality and pull the wool from my tired eyes. And, don’t get too excited, but I think I’ve done it. I turned to the classic Kenyon figures that we know and love and, although some still miss the mark, there’s one label that matches so perfectly that I can finally end my search in success. Read on for some identifications I happened upon along the way and one that is so true and pure that it may alter life at Kenyon forevermore.

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Josh Radnor’s Music and Drawing What I Feel


I would say that I am the Thrill’s resident Alumni Stalker. I Facebook messaged John Green for months on end (always being left on read) and I have Josh Radnor’s tweets on alert. Once he even directly responded to me! To cut to the chase, I don’t know if most normal people know this, but Josh Radnor has a band. Yes, you heard me correctly. He and a pal write three to four minute songs with titles like “It’s Yours Once You Give it Away” and “Still Though We Should Dance”.

You know when that kid from your high school tries to become a SoundCloud rapper and you’re like, haha, thank goodness we weren’t friends and thus I can’t be associated with him? This is like that, except you chose this. You chose to be grouped with the man who willingly made this video: Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Trash Cans that Look like Famous Kenyon Alums

Doppelgangers. Everyone has them. For some, it’s the hip girl in your yoga class. For others, it’s a garbage receptacle. I often find myself gazing at trash cans during my daily jaunts about campus and think to myself, “Hey! That looks like a notable Kenyon alumnus! What an amazing coincidence!” Rather than keep my findings locked inside my labyrinthine brain, I am publicizing them so we can all share a hearty chuckle and perhaps even a knee slap. Without further ado*, here are some trash cans resembling Kenyon grads.

1) John Green

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This trash can shares the same stubbly exterior as this lovable author’s face. Except instead of pebbles, he has human hair! Also, his head is covered in paper. Why is that? John Green definitely has the potential to be a great garbage container.

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Calling All Recent Kenyon Grads: We Want Your Depressing Tweets!


…or Facebook posts, Instagrams, Yelps, WUPHFs etc. Anything that takes the dream of a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed graduate-to-be and crushes it with monotony and mediocrity.

Email them to us at All will be revealed. Later. In like a few weeks. I’m just saying, don’t hold your breath.