Kenyon Mythbusters (sorta): The Ascension Steps

It may be beautiful from above, but don’t let Ascension deceive you… (via onlineclasses.org)

Aaaannnnddddd we’re back! Your fearless hosts Jack and Anna are here to present another great Kenyon myth. This week’s myth comes from one of the ever-flawless Thrill commenters. It’s about those steps outside Ascension. You know the ones: the awkward, too-large-but-not-large-enough steps that cause people to look like they’re trying to conquer the Great Wall. Rumor has it that the steps were designed to be easier to climb for women than for men.
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10 o’clock list: Five Ways to Conquer the Ascension Steps

Photo “art” by Leslie Martin ’14.

A wise guru once tweeted: “The two most awkward things about Kenyon are Sunday mornings and the spacing of the steps outside Ascension…”

Amen. There are few things that are more uncomfortable than watching someone try to hobble down the notorious Ascension steps without limping like a peg-legged pirate who’s attempting to learn how to jerk. It’s time we all learned how to walk out of our intensive French and Econ courses in style! We’re not gonna let some steps step all over us! Here are Five Ways to Conquer the Ascension Steps:

  1. Skipadeedoodah – While the average stair ranges from being 8 to 10 inches long, the massive ones outside of Ascension measure in at about 2.5 feet each! No wonder you have to take that extra shuffle-step just to make it to the next stair! Instead of being awkward about it, why not embrace the shuffle with a full-on skip? Not only will you blaze down the stairs in record time, but you’ll also give people the impression that you’re just super happy today. Continue reading