Perched atop the cracking windows of Leonard Hall, the Asian beetle’s little mouth curls in a bashful smile. It’s four o’clock: rush hour for the Asian beetles, who are piling in the corners of the warm room, falling on top of each other in confusion. She has arrived late for the interview, leaving me hopelessly scanning the top of my dorm ceiling amongst the forty other Asian beetles for her.
This post was co-authored by Nate Rosenberg and Erica Christie
It all started August 2014, when a young and naive Nate Rosenberg moved into Lewis 208. Little did he know, that history would repeat itself when an equally young and naive Erica Christie moved into that very same room a year later. You’ll never guess what happens next!
As a Kenyon student, I find the only appropriate and rewarding form of expression to be that of the written word so it made sense to manifest some of the raging emotions into haikus. I’ll (graciously) accept my award from the English department whenever they’re ready.
1. On the twenty-third,
I must battle for my sched
And for my housing
Who did this to us?
We are so vulnerable
By now, unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve heard that Zayn Malik is officially leaving One Direction. The internet has been ablaze with teenage girls crying. Like actually literally weeping, look at this Buzzfeed article. But let’s face it, Zayn is the fourth best member of One Direction and there are some things that are worse than Zayn leaving.
It’s the first week of Spring semester, and that means one thing: an influx of Juniors back on the Hill. Returning to Kenyon for the first time in months means that Juniors who studied off-campus must become reacquainted with everything they missed while they were gone. And it’s a wonderful time to reflect on the little things that make Kenyon special.
When you first got to Kenyon, you overall knew what to expect. You’d done some research, decided on tentative clubs to join, and scoped out how much of a BAMF your roommate was gonna be. You thought you were prepared, but nobody told you about the beetles. They seem to be everywhere at once, Harmonia axyridis, an invasive beetle seeming deceptively like a ladybug but distinctly different looking in no way at all. They were brought into America from Asia, being introduced to control the aphid pest population, but you don’t care about that because they’re gross and they stink and I hate’em. There’s nothing worse than waking up to those black dots crawling across your ceiling and knowing that you are powerless to stop them. But wait! You have me, the self-appointed Thrill pest control expert! And with my dastardly good looks and out of the box thinking, I’ll soon have you on your way to beetle independence.