The Monday Catchup

The Monday Catchup

Wow! Amy Leech ’19 came back from her first semester with bangs and she thinks she is the shit.

The McBride resident wasn’t sure about taking the plunge and snipping off her locks. Despite her personal subscription to the New York Times, owning those boots every girl has, and 3.89 GPA, Amy still didn’t feel like she meshed with the Kenyon community.

“I just didn’t have that it factor,” she explained to her hairstylist as she stared at her self in the mirror. Amy said she knew her next words would siesmically shake from her home town of Leechburgh, Pennsylvania to Gambier, Ohio.

“I want bangs.”

After convincing herself that brown hair, too, would make her fit in to the campus even more, she left the salon with a full head of poop brown, fringey bang hair.

Amy felt like the shit walking down middle path. She sadly was not and no one really cared. The same was true for Brice who dyed his hair blue, Cloe who got a septum ring, and Jackie who gained seven pounds.

How was your break?

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Michelle Obama Got Bangs Because of Us, Probably

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On this Inauguration Day, it seems there’s only one topic occupying the hearts and minds of the media and the American people – Michelle Obama’s bangs. Everyone from the Huffington Post to the Wall Street Journal has weighed in on the First Lady’s apparently historic haircut, but it’s hard not to question her timing. I mean, come on – she shows up at the KAC in November and three months later she’s sporting a full-on Kenyon chop? Michelle, the bangs look nice and all, but don’t come crying to us when you’re showing up 15 minutes late to your 9:40 because you’re out of bobby pins and you didn’t have time to shower and they just won’t do what you want.