Ten o’clock list: Places On Campus Where I’ve Screamed At People For No Rational Reason


Pictured above: Me

Hello again, it’s I, the Back from Break Goblin! Oh also, the thing with me is, I’m a goblin, and I cannot explain why. I just am. I’m the Thrill’s Resident Goblin. I’m sorry.

Look. I’m not gonna mince words here folks. We live in stressful times. The world is full of injustice, cruelty, and perversion. The polar caps are collapsing, the economy is melting, and nobody is as scared of the Archons as we should be. Civilization’s been going to hell for as long as I can remember, and on top of that, I have to give an oral presentation the same day my next paper’s due. I get stressed you guys. And sometimes when people come into my life with their weird habits or wrong opinions I yell at them. I go on rants where all my nonsense overflows out of me, until I’m not even sure what we’re talking about. Or sometimes I just yell, not at people, or anyone, just at the void for situations I’ve found myself in.

These are my five favorite places on campus where I’ve screamed at people.

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What If This Were a Dorm: The Post Office

Here is the Post Office, and there is the steeple. (via farm5.staticflickr.com)

At this time of year some people are thinking, “Do I want to live in an apartment shaped like a milk carton, or do I want to live in an apartment that looks like a suburban house?” Less fortunate people are thinking, “Please merciful baby Jesus, just let me live somewhere cool.” As a sophomore Mather resident, I know from personal experience that the merciful baby Jesus will be on a coffee break during the housing lottery. And yet, after a semester and a half, I have finally come up with a coping mechanism. It’s called the “What if this were a dorm?” game. Contemplating an infinite number of bypassed possibilities really helps take away the sting of something that can’t be changed.

This week’s contender: The Post Office steeple. Continue reading

ALERT: Bat on the Third Floor of the Library

The ferocious bat wreaking havoc in Chalmers.

When four typically noisy first years stumbled into the third floor Chalmers periodicals section, screaming bloody murder, I chose to ignore them. But then I saw it — a swooping Dracula incarnate! With fangs! Flapping its vicious bat wings all over our copies of Time and Newsweek magazines! VAMPIRE BAT ALERT!

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