10 O’Clock List: People You’ll Find at Old Side Bingo

bingo

via Google Images

Bingo. You’ve heard the name before, I’m sure. It’s a sport that’s not for the faint of heart — a game that involves some elbow grease and a particular skill set. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say my heart skips a beat when I spy a Social Board email in my Inbox inviting me for a night of debauchery.

If you happen to be passing Old Side of Peirce Hall around 8:30 p.m. on a weeknight, you might just think you’re seeing a random mass of humans, but the composition of humans that make up Bingo on a weekend night has some outstanding characters.

Here are just a few of the individuals you’ll meet at Bingo.

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Family Weekend Bingo

Beep Beep it’s me the bingo fairy. It’s FAMILY WEEKEND, and that means you are about to be either wined/dined/laundered. OR you are going to have to reap the consequences of uhhhh 2,000 more people coming to campus for a school that does not have the infrastructure in place to support this. Regardless of your situation, play this game to make this weekend a little more bearable.

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Back to School Bingo

Welcome back everyone! How are you? I actually don’t care, but I’ll listen for ten or fifteen seconds before my eyes glaze over and I start to think about literally anything else besides who is being presented right in front of me. I’ll nod and sigh at the right points, peppering in traditionally human exclamations like “mhmm” and “oh my god yeah.” You’ll carry on and pretend to believe that I’m listening but deep down you know that I am just nodding along because there is no one else to talk to at this dark apartment party. I’ll find my friends, you’ll wave goodbye–and we’ll avoid eye contact for the next 6-8 months.

Anyway, I digress–I’ve been gone for a semester and a summer– and boy has this place made some weird changes. The Village Market looks like a Dean and Deluca, and I can’t pee in the freshman halls anymore on my long walk north. But at the same time, due to some kind of otherworldly miracle, our cosmic schema somehow aligns perfectly every single late August on this fake but also very real village– and the exact same instances occur. First-years sit at your table in Peirce, forcing you to relocate while simultaneously insisting that “it’s totally fine.” Almost every other month, like clockwork, there is just a full day where the whole village smells like manure. You listen to a lot of a cappella, a lot. To make this adjustment process easier for you– I’ve decided to turn the first few weeks and its eccentricities into a game, specifically a bingo board. Whether it’s your first month here or one of your final few–hopefully this board will bring you peace, harmony, and enlightenment.

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Sendoff Bingo 2014!!!

 

This one’s for all the marbles. via wikimedia commons

From the mad geniuses who brought you Prospie Bingo comes a next level way to engage your weekend. I give you Sendoff Bingo, the game you never knew you always wished you could play ever since you were little. Keep your eyes open and your mind alert, and never stop dreaming. I believe in you, kid. You could be the best there ever was. The game board is after the jump. Make me proud. Continue reading

Prospie Bingo

Bingo, no longer for just the elderly!

Bingo, no longer for just the elderly!

With the April 1st acceptance date looming ever-nearer, hoards of prospective students have been flooding the campus. While we have all been in their shoes, the long lines at Peirce and stumbling tour groups can serve as annoyance in our midterms-fueled February haze. But fear not, Kenyon. Inspired by other such endeavorsThe Thrill has created a bingo card to heighten the experience of people-watching the prospies. Print it out and start playing! Continue reading