We all know that the body needs a pick-me-up every once in a while. Drinking every night of the week, coupled with the fact that some of us are deep in the throes of comps does not bode well for being the picture of health that every Kenyon student strives for. This is why we have decided to compose the complete rejuvenating system: The Executive’s Workout™. To complete the The Executive’s Workout™, one must engage in vigorous exercise, vigorous cleansing and slightly less vigorous drinking.
When we were younger, we had hopes and fears. Our tiny hands clasped onto whatever we could gather about life, and we held on to those scraps of information like they were absolute truth. Part of me is still a little convinced that the kidnapper from Oliver and Company might be living in my attic, because my brothers told me he was hiding out there when I was three. But as we get older, we learn important things like “Disney villains don’t exist in real life” and “you won’t explode if you drink diet coke and Mentos.” Suddenly we find ourselves at Kenyon, and it’s time to apply all those lessons. Here are some words of wisdom that these Kenyon students have gathered over the years: