Profile: Bijan Khaghani ‘23, a.k.a. Guardian of the AD Bullseye

Those of us studying remotely don’t know all that much about on-campus housing, but we do know one thing: all singles are not created equal. I took it upon myself to interview one man, one myth, one legend who is doing the unthinkable: living in the AD Bullseye all by his lonesome. In his own words, “Living in the Bullseye… is the most beautiful mess I have ever had to deal with.”

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10 o’clock list: Inappropriate Times to Play “Wagon Wheel”

Our favorite song! (via Hansen Wheel and Wagon Shop)

Ah, “Wagon Wheel,” how first-years love thee. You never fail to disappoint as you close down the Bullseye, what with jolly debauchery winding down for yet another night of what can only be described as “amazing, awesome, and yeah mom the parties at college are pretty fun.” But if we leave “Wagon Wheel” for parties only, we miss out on some awesome opportunities for making new memories. Here are some suggestions for new times to play this awesome diddy.

  1. Finishing your last midterm. Okay, yeah, we get it – midterms suck and finally being able to call yourself “done” with them is a fantastic feeling. But maybe you should save the celebration for when you’ve left the classroom, because hi-jacking your professor’s computer to blast “Wagon Wheel” isn’t exactly the pinnacle of tact.

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Calling your Parents: A Guide

Calling home really is the best option.

Calling home really is the best option.

The first two weeks of school are almost done. By now perhaps you realize four classes in a row on a Thursday wasn’t so great an idea. You still haven’t recovered from the upsetting news that the Bullseye shut-down Friday night. The impending doom of the Kenyon Krud is sending you to the Health Center with sniffles and hand sanitizer. All of these worries make you wish you could cry to your mom, but you have no idea what to even say. Look no further; we’ve got you covered.

  • Rule #1: Call every week. Whether you want to call your mom, father, grandmother, or other adult in your life, make sure you do it often. Although it may seem like everything at Kenyon happens at lightning speed, if you don’t check in on a regular basis then your mom may think you are still “oh so into Johnny the Frat Boy” when really he dumped you outside the bookstore and now you’ve taken to flirting with squirrels. Even if you give a quick five-minute call you’ll probably feel better and also make someone else’s day.  Continue reading

Gossip from the Hill, Reading Daze Edition


Ahoy Matey

I’m back Kenyon and I’ve been storing up a good load of gossip from these four Reading Days (or should I say daze, Olin was positively empty).

Spotted everywhere, Safety officers. Boy oh boy, it seems like students just can’t keep their parties under control this year! I get that it was your birthday, but whoever tried to recreate this in their NCA has to remember that we are on a college campus, not a Carnival Cruise. And rugby players, I get that you have to go H.A.M. on the field, but the refs here care when you break things. ‘Course, I’d rather be busted by Safety than die of boredom in the Bullseye. The DKEs were not on their game this weekend: closed down by 1:30 on a Saturday night? I expect better. What are all of us to do?  Continue reading