First Year Expectations: Sendoff

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You’ve been pounding water all day. You have a plan of how to get from your 11:10 class to the real action fast. You finished your work so you could start drinking early afternoon, at the latest. You’re probably going to not remember 7:30 on because you’re still a dumb freshman. That’s right: it’s Sendoff time. We asked our lowly little first years what they expected from Sendoff, and here they are for your viewing pleasure.

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The Monday Catchup

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As the chill settled upon our hill last evening, I found myself restored to an infantile state. Here I sit now weeping, tired, and drinking from a coffee cup as if it was teat supple with mother’s milk. Yes, a coffee teat. I can’t tell if that last image was a product of creativity or fatigue. It was probably the latter. Find me Friday at 6:30pm. I’ll be in a better mood- certainly a different state. Many of you were in a different state, too this weekend. Here’s what you had to say!

If I had a baby at the beginning of the semester, it would be a semester old. Wow.

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So Long, Farewell, Get Out

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Well, today marks the end of yet another semester. So go home, get out, LEAVE already, but do join us again next semester. We’ll be taking a holiday hiatus, and I’ll be throwing in my hat, but when you return be sure to say hello to The Thrill’s new fearless leaders Natasha Preston ’17 and Carolyn Ten Eyck ’18 and our new Executive Editor, Yasmin Nesbat ’18!

Peace out nerds,

Annaliese

10 o’clock list: Five Quick, Semi-Easy Kenyon Party Exits

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Don’t worry, nobody noticed that.

If you’re comfortable exiting social interactions in a normal, human way (i.e. via the front door) when you’re ready to go, this list ain’t for you. If you sometimes get subsumed by anxiety at parties, because you’re tired or your ex-whatever just showed up or you drank/smoked something weird (by which I mean expired soda/those herbal cigarettes Jon Hamm smokes on Mad Men, Mom) and just want to go breathe into a pillow and watch Hulu without attracting attention, this list is for you. Use these Irish-exit strategies the next time you’re at a party and need to not be anymore. But don’t escape at the same time I do, because that will look weird.*

1. Acland Party It’s tricky (sorry, had to) to leave here unnoticed, since Aclands are basically laid out like your parents’ rec room circa 1996. Your best bet is the downstairs laundry room — there’s a little door that will lead you outside, and you can take it from there. (Note — this strategy is for emergencies only. Otherwise, you’re just Dwight Schrute skulking around the basement in the middle of a party.) Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Five Things We Don’t Care About

This post was co-authored by Kate Lindsay and Emma Specter Emma Specter and Kate Lindsay both of us equally ’15.

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We’re “back” on “campus” “legally” (i.e. technically abroad and just here visiting), but in the four days we’ve already spent here before going off to broaden our horizons and learn about our bodies and just grow both intellectually and sexually, we already hate everything you’re telling us about your summers. Here’s a list of some of the stuff we just don’t want to hear about, goddamit. You’re going to miss us when we’re gone. Cups.

1. Your Summer Relationship With That Guy/Girl Who Was Really Great, No, Just, Like, Really Great and Smart and Funny, And You Had So Much Fun But, Like, You Don’t Know, He/She’s 27 and Has To Go Back to Finish Grad School And You Just Don’t Know If You’re On The Same Page, If You Know What I Mean, But You’re So Glad To Have Had That Experience. Continue reading