I can never return to the Mount Vernon Marshalls. That’s how dumb my Dumbest Thing I Ever Did is. It’s a damn shame too, because my stupidity prevented me from buying the one thing I went to Marshalls to buy.
Kenyon, widely-renowned for its site-specific scents, has finally broken into the candle industry. The smells you’ve grown to know, recognize, and even love are finally available for purchase. Just don’t light them or even let your CA know you have them, or you’ll get one of them big fat write ups. For the rebellious ones within these hallowed halls, we bring you a taste (or should I say, a sniff) of what’s to come.
Peirce: Tomato sauce, burnt things
Sometimes I get a strong scent-craving for that sweet smell of a burnt bagel. You know the one. That smell you experience when you place your precariously cut blueberry bagel in the rotating toaster whilst hungover on a Sunday afternoon–and then what happens? You witness it catch completely on fire in one swift motion. You sigh, re-cut, re-place, and pray to the gods of bagels for golden-brown nirvana. Well now, you can remind yourself of that scent/feeling/place at the simple flick of the wrist. And also the candle smells like tomato sauce, because duh.
The Cove: Chinese food, fried things, and mistakes
It’s the end of fall, you’re all cozy on a couch with a blanket, a warm drink, and a book. You think to yourself, I could really be reminded of grime and fried cheese right now. You light this bad boy up and boom, it’s Friday night/Saturday morning at 1:30 am all over again.
The candle store is an amazing place. Like, you can have this stick of wax that smells like Butterflies Frolicking Through A Misty Summer Day or Your Grandmother’s Apple Pie Mixed With Subtle Hints Her Perfume or other just really outstanding and specific scents. Not that I have candles in my dorm (and neither should you) but if I did have candles in my dorm, I’d be sick of all these frankly cliché and embarrassing scents. You know what we need? Kenyon scents. Because, as well all know, Kenyon smells great. All the time.
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Note: you should not light candles or keep them in your room.
It’s well-known that we are not allowed to have candles in our rooms, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make them. You can give these to people as birthday gifts and no one can complain because it’s a homemade gift–and what could be better than that?