Buy Discount Easter Candy Now!

Good morning. Did you know that Easter candy is half off at Walmart? It’s probably the same deal at CVS! Looking to buy local? The bookstore will sell you Cadbury Creme Eggs at a weirdly specific felt tipped marker noted discount price.

Anyway, I got a bag of those little Whoppers Robin Eggs for $1.44 and I’m extremely pleased about it.

Share your favorite Easter candies in the comments.

Ohio dentist attempts to ruin Halloween

Indisputably the most important part of Halloween.

Some dentist in Mansfield is attempting to ruin Halloween by offering to buy children’s Halloween candy hauls at the rate of $1 per pound. There’s even a free toothbrush, a clear last-ditch effort to make this seem less like the saddest idea ever. Craig Callen, the dentist in question, has this to say for himself:

“Kids can have the fun of trick-or-treating, and now their piggy banks will benefit as well,” Callen told the paper.

The fun of trick-or-treating is that you get candy. That’s pretty much the point. Can any of us imagine small children jumping to take advantage of this opportunity?