10 o’clock list: Kenyon-Specific Reasons You Didn’t Do Your Work

Yes, Kenyon LEGO person, why didn’t you do your homework?

I get it. Sometimes you decide to binge watch the entire fifth season of Mad Men on Netflix, and you can’t finish all 200 pages of the book on mid-19th Century Macedonian political parties you were supposed to read for class. In case this happens, you should have an excuse available just in case hiding in the corner and hoping the professor doesn’t call on you fails. Kenyon-specific excuses are scientifically proven to be 50% more likely to be accepted by professors as a legitimate reason why you didn’t do the work. Below are a few of these reasons.  Continue reading

10 o’clock List: Ways to Convince Your Friends You are a Cat

Are we cats yet?

Are we cats yet?

Mid-terms are piling up and fall break is approaching, and as you rush out of Peirce with a to-go cup of mashed potatoes in one hand and a Red Bull in the other, your path to the library is suddenly cut off by a cat. This cat slinks by you and in your sleep-deprived haze you imagine what a life the cat must lead. What elegance it has. Suddenly you realize you always wanted to be a cat, everyone should want to be a cat. But how could you convince your friends that you joined the felines of Gambier?

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Dear Alum: Allison Janney ’82

Kenyon’s alumni are some of the best and brightest in the world (we happen to think). In this new feature, we’ll be celebrating some of our most beloved Kenyon alums with the highest honor any mortal can hope to achieve: notes/letters published on the Internet. Yes, that’s right, the Internet. 

So many awards. So much talent.

So many awards. So much talent.

Dear Allison Janney,

Thank you for “setting the stage” for female actors at Kenyon. You are basically perfect; who could match the six Emmys, two Tonys, and Drama desk award? Honestly it’s a shame we don’t already have a building solely dedicated to your presence and talent. Also, thank you for guiding me through my childhood with Finding Nemo, 10 Things I hate about you, Hairspray, and Juno. Speaking of 10 Things, I appreciate your hidden reference for the Kenyon Cats with your cat mug. Continue reading