What can I say about Spring Break 2017 that hasn’t already be said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone – this is a gift to us all. Yet, just as the wheel, penicillin, and the iPhone have changed, so too has Spring Break 2017. How so? Well, it’s over. Extinct. Gone. Spent. For all 14 days of break, I blissfully ignored the reminder on my phone to pay a lock out fee. I had my March Madness bracket tattooed on my back (Sorry mom. Let’s go Duke. Ball out.). I took several nice baths each preceded by a healthy bowel movement! I celebrated another day not receiving jury duty summons.
I’m back on campus now.
In an attempt to overcome the crippling sadness of coming back, I socialized with you people. Here’s how spring break went.
“Don’t do wine enemas. Not over spring break. Not any time.”