The Friday Kethcup


Ketchup is, of course, a tomato-based sauce commonly used to compliment various dishes, especially in American cuisine. But do you know how its made? Well I’m going to tell you. You take tomatoes, sugar, vinegar, salt, spices, onion, and garlic. The more ketchup you want to make, the more ingredients you use. You take the tomatoes and put them in a bowl, then put that bowl in the microwave. Turn the microwave on and melt the tomatoes. This makes the tomatoes into tomato liquid. Then you take the bowl out of the microwave and put all the other ingredients in. Shake the bowl up and down without a cover to mix everything up. After that, you’re almost done. Take your feet and step in the bowl to squish everything together. Don’t wash your feet first. When your feet are totally covered with the mixture, then you’re done. Wipe the stuff off your feet and put it in a bottle. That’s ketchup. Throw anything left in the bowl away because that’s not ketchup. You’ve now made ketchup. It’s the Friday Ketchup.
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10 o’clock list: Things You Should Be Passing This Week That Aren’t Your Finals



Finals. One, hazy (crazy, lazy) week of under-sleeping, overeating, and library weeping. Suddenly, the Kenyon that you’ve come to know and love turns unrecognizable. Rugby girls forgo beloved theories of social justice and equality and hog the free-candy resources with ridiculous gallon sized bags. The ballroom dancers hold impromptu, slightly unsettling performances in Peirce. And, most prominently, all anyone can seem to talk about is passing their finals. To rescue you from conversational mundanity, this finals week, The Thrill offers you five things that you can worry about passing besides your finals. Continue reading