Shit Professors Say, Vol. V

shit-prof-2 (1).jpg

These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors. Click here for our previous installment.

*Glances at the clock* “I’m in despair.”

“We have lots of exciting things going on today! First of all, yes, I shaved half of my eyebrow. No, there’s no interesting story to go along with it.”

“I’m trying to figure out my existence in front of this work of art, and you guys are making out in front of it??”

Continue reading

The Science of Un-Assigned Assigned Seats

auditorium benches chairs class

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“I have to be careful—I’m picking the seat I’m going to sit in for the rest of the semester.”

“I’m up earlier than I usually am, because someone stole my seat yesterday and I’m gonna get there super early and sit in the front row and say yes, don’t take my seat again.”

Continue reading

10 o’clock list: How to Prove You did the Reading Without Looking Like a Normie

normies

Ah, the delicious thrill of class participation. You raise your hand, tentatively at first, before fully solidifying your thought and thrusting your hand into the air. But how will you distinguish yourself from every other well-prepared student in the class? You can’t just comment on the author’s intentions or ask a question about figures mentioned in a study, no, you must do something that catches the attention of your professor and makes them think, “Wow, this kid knows their stuff,” and not, “Why is this school full of fucking normies…God, I wish I was teaching at Oberlin.”

Continue reading

Shit Kenyon Professors Say, Vol. II

shit prof 2

We really do!

These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors. Click here for our previous installment. 

“I mean, obviously I’m leftist. I have leftist bias. But like, that shit’s racist.”

“I am older and meaner than the devil.”

“We all piss and shit.”

Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Things We All Forgot

Jason Bourne forgets sometimes too.

Jason Bourne forgets sometimes too.

Coming back to Kenyon, you never realize how much you forget about this tiny hillside hamlet over the summer. Unfortunately the little things hit you like a ton of bricks upon your triumphant arrival. While this list won’t be able to help you get over the shock of actually running into these realizations, it’s comforting to know that you aren’t alone.

Continue reading