10 o’clock list: How to Prove You did the Reading Without Looking Like a Normie

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Ah, the delicious thrill of class participation. You raise your hand, tentatively at first, before fully solidifying your thought and thrusting your hand into the air. But how will you distinguish yourself from every other well-prepared student in the class? You can’t just comment on the author’s intentions or ask a question about figures mentioned in a study, no, you must do something that catches the attention of your professor and makes them think, “Wow, this kid knows their stuff,” and not, “Why is this school full of fucking normies…God, I wish I was teaching at Oberlin.”

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Shit Kenyon Professors Say, Vol. II

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We really do!

These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors. Click here for our previous installment. 

“I mean, obviously I’m leftist. I have leftist bias. But like, that shit’s racist.”

“I am older and meaner than the devil.”

“We all piss and shit.”

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10 o’clock list: Things We All Forgot

Jason Bourne forgets sometimes too.

Jason Bourne forgets sometimes too.

Coming back to Kenyon, you never realize how much you forget about this tiny hillside hamlet over the summer. Unfortunately the little things hit you like a ton of bricks upon your triumphant arrival. While this list won’t be able to help you get over the shock of actually running into these realizations, it’s comforting to know that you aren’t alone.

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Transform Your Dorm: Downton Abbey

Housing is coming, Kenyon College. And as much as we lay awake at night, dreaming of a Taft Cottage, there’s only one place that we all truly want to live in: Downton Abbey. Not just for the delicious British melodrama and Maggie Smith’s quips, but because that place is damn gorgeous. So, though we can’t live in Downton, we can try our darndest to make the best of whatever we’re being forced to live in. Here is The Thrill’s guide to making your dorm seem as close to Downton as you (somewhat plausibly) can.

Results may vary.

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