10 o’clock list: Substitute Pets

squish

That’s one squishy Squish!

The end of the semester is approaching, which means you probably haven’t been back to the motherland in a while. What do you miss most? Family? Psh. No. PETS! If finals week has got your goat, and if your pet withdrawal has led you to thinking, Get meow-t of here! I’m ready for summer neigh-cation! No more kitten around! Act now! Here are some alternatives to your faraway furry friends (no pet rocks allowed).  Continue reading

Hey, Buddhist House — We Found You a Roommate!

A few days ago, the residents of Buddhist House sent around an all-campus email seeking to fill a vacancy in their themed-housing Acland. Today, an interested applicant sent us this letter to pass on to them. We think we’ve stumbled upon your dream roommate, gentlemen — no need to thank us.

Serenity now.

Serenity now.

Dear Residents of Buddhist House,

I’d like to apply for the spare room advertised in the “Calling All Men Interested in Living in the Buddhist House” email you sent out last week.

I believe I’m a perfect fit for Buddhist House, despite the fact that I am a heavy-drinking, diehard atheist smoker who is also deathly allergic to “chill vibes” and prone to blinding fits of violent rage.  Continue reading