Senior Soiree: Expectations vs. Reality


Soiree was on Saturday night, and everyone went into it with preconceived notions passed down by seniors prior. As Summer teaches us, what you expect is never how it really is. Put on The Smiths and see how things really unfolded.*


  • Senior A — Don’t know what I’m gonna wear, but know I’m gonna get wasted.
  • Senior B — Classy and trashy.
  • Senior C — I will find the perfect dress that makes me feel both like an emerging adult and like a child at heart and I will dance the night away.
  • Senior D — “Oh my god I’m so excited but this year is going by so fast! / HELP SATAN FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SATAN AAAAAAHH I DON’T WANT TO DIE”
  • Senior E — “mayeb i will get blisters on my feet but food and fun and friends are worth it i think”
  • Senior F — Moist and mighty, like Moaning Myrtle’s last stand.
  • Senior G — I expect Soiree to be like an Inaugural Ball: I am Michelle Obama, and Beyonce is serenading me, and being “escorted out” by “campus safety” for “stripping” will never change that.
  • Senior H — OMG. Soiree has all the elements of a popular story. It reeks of all-Americanness, tension and drama. It has romance. Pretty dresses. Dancing. Limos. College. Coming of age. I can’t wait for senior soiree. 
  • Senior I — I will walk into the room and it will be a Hermione-at-the-Yule-Ball-esque moment and everybody will see me in a different light and be like wow, I wish I had never written that mean thing on her Thrill article. [Ed. Hi, Kate. xoxo, Emma.]


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Old K Party Work Out

This can be you at an Old Kenyon party

Even though we all love the KAC, it’s not always easy to find time to get a work out in. Fortunately, there are alternative methods of burning some calories at Kenyon. One of the best places to do this is at an Old Kenyon party. Here are a few exercises that can help you shed the pounds while you get your groove on.

Ten Minute Dance Challenge. Make your way into the middle of the dance floor and shake your money-maker for ten straight minutes. It’s a great aerobic exercise similar to Jazzercise, except with rap music and people making out all around you. Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Clubs We Should Start

Rock your body. (via

Rock your body. (via

Kenyon students love their extracurricular activities. For such a small school, we have an inordinate amount of clubs, societies, and groups that cater to almost any passion you may have. Like equestrian? We got a club. Enjoy classy dancing? There’s a ballroom club that would love to have you. Despite the seemingly countless organizations on campus, there’s alway room for more. Below are some potential clubs that should join the menagerie of groups.

  1. Seinfeld Club. “She’s a Lentz Lady, Jerry! She took me back to her room on Saturday night and started reading me Kafka! Now I see her everywhere, and she always tries to discuss the influence of post-modernism on historical fiction. I’m afraid to go outside. It’s madness, I tell you, madness!” We are all George Costanza. Continue reading

Drunk or Weird?


Have you ever come home to your dorm room on a drizzly Wednesday night to find your roommate bundled up in blankets with rhinestones stuck to her cheek eating a pint of ice cream with a fork, letting the ice cream melt all over her face and hands while she stares blankly into her blank computer screen? In this oddly specific set of circumstances, what’s your verdict? Is your roommate drunk or just weird? Here are a few situations that could go either way. It’s up to you to decide. Continue reading

WKCO Profiles: The Nitty Gritty with Mary Hollyman

The email accompanying this headshot read -- "This is the only picture of me in the radio booth that exists. It highlights my rather large nostrils and their ability of movement."

The email accompanying this headshot read — “This is the only picture of me in the radio booth that exists. It highlights my rather large nostrils and their ability of movement.”

I arrived at “The Nitty Gritty”, a show devoted to early R&B and soul, with a bang — just as Mary Hollyman ’14 and her guest DJ for the day, Thea Kohout ’14, put on “I’ll Drop Everything And Come Running” by Candi Staton, I proceeded to, in fact, drop everything as I spilled the contents of my bag into the garbage. Mary gracefully glided over this gaffe and into a conversation about the themes of her show — “Not every week has a theme. One week it was “Food.” Next week it’s going to be “Animals.” Last week, the theme was “Girl Groups” and I noticed a weird trend — there’s a lot of girl-group songs about boyfriends dying in motorcycle crashes.” Continue reading