AI Tells All: The True Identities of Kenyon’s Elite

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Ever since digital artist Trevor Paglen uploaded his ImageNet Roulette project to the web, I’ve been obsessed. I’ve spent hours furiously uploading photos to be compared with the database and anxiously waiting for my new identity to be spit out. Am I a nonsmoker? A fighter pilot? A colleen? I hunger to know. I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks. My friends are getting worried. Deadlines have come and gone, but all I can do is give the beast what it wants. The only thing that could save me from the grips of this illness would be to happen upon an image able to expose our true reality and pull the wool from my tired eyes. And, don’t get too excited, but I think I’ve done it. I turned to the classic Kenyon figures that we know and love and, although some still miss the mark, there’s one label that matches so perfectly that I can finally end my search in success. Read on for some identifications I happened upon along the way and one that is so true and pure that it may alter life at Kenyon forevermore.

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How To Pronounce: “Sean Decatur”

full time educator/leader/father/community member/male model/wearer of what appears to be a white linen blazer??? (someone please get back to me with the scoop on what kind of fabric that is).jpg [via oberlin.edu]

Considering this is such a prolific week for prospie visits, we figured we would go ahead and throw all the visitors on campus another bone this week and teach them how to pronounce the name of the most important man on campus: the college’s own head honcho, President Sean Decatur. Listen closely, and take notes if you have to: if you’re lucky, you and your family may get the chance to meet him this weekend!

Have a Kenyon or Gambier-related word you’re not sure how to pronounce? Email us at thekenyonthrill@gmail.com with suggestions!