Be Thankful You Aren’t Being Chased by a Demon Turkey

The only turkey most of us encounter on Thanksgiving is a delicious, moist roasted one, sitting serenely on our dining table and surrounded by his friends, cranberries and stuffing. This poor local news reporter, however, had the misfortune of being stalked for several terrifying minutes by a demonic wild turkey. Lessons to be learned: A) If someone tips you off about an evil turkey in their yard, just take their word for it and don’t investigate, B) mail carriers are everyday heroes (and when they corner the turkey, run away and don’t wait around for him to start running at you again) and C) JESUS CHRIST, NOOOO!!! <gobble gobble>