It Happened To Me: My Mom Called Me A “Good Boy” For Having A Second Plate Of Dinner


Author’s Note:

Well shit. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but something’s abound and it’s not a great something. However, it’s not a world-ending something. Keep your heads, don’t be dumb. I miss you all.

The Post, For Real Now:

I am a very good boy. I don’t mean to brag, but I brush my teeth twice a day and I eat all my vegetables. I am an extremely good boy. 

That being said, it’s been a while since anyone has told me I am a good boy. Therefore it came as a shock to me when, at a family meal, my dear mother commended me for eating two helpings of dinner by saying “good boy.” This vexed me. Continue reading

Prepping for Parents Weekend: Make Your Dinner Reservations Now

For first years, this weekend is a chance to finally cure their homesickness with a little dose of home and copious gifts from parents who desperately need to feel loved. But if you’re an upperclass student, it’s more about proving that you are capable of sustaining a put-together, adult life for two days.

And you know what adults do? They make dinner reservations. If you don’t, you will end up standing outside of Jakes: A Place for Steak with your family, teeth chattering as your parents mutter things like, “I knew he didn’t have his shit together, Dorie.”* At the very least, you’ll be cold; at worst, you won’t be able to eat at your desired restaurant. It is also a truth universally acknowledged that the Kenyon Inn will not have any walk-in tables free before the Kokes concert, so remember that you need reservations, whether you’re in Gambier or Columbus this weekend. Continue reading