Hello civilians. If you’re reading this article it’s because you are trying to guarantee your family’s safety on this ghoul- and gremlin-filled night. Well I have bad news for you, because there are NO guarantees in life, other than what you can provide for yourself through hard work. That being said, sometimes you need instruction in order to best conquer challenges, which is where I come in. After years of consuming Halloween-themed horror content, I am uniquely qualified to educate you on how to defend yourself from the ever-present threat of marauding pumpkins seeking to infiltrate your home and destroy your family values with rock-and-roll music and free love.Continue reading
The New Apts are by far the most cottagecore-friendly housing option at Kenyon, Farm included. My own time in the F-block can only be described as idyllic. I had 43 potted plants growing in my single. I kept a chicken coop behind the tennis courts. I was paying a Wiggin Street third grader to look after them over spring break. Alas, when I returned a month later to pack my belongings, all my plants were dead, and my chickens were nowhere to be found.
If you are lucky enough to live in the New Apts this year, you must seize the opportunity to create your own cottagecore paradise. And if you see any stray chickens (four hens, one rooster, and hopefully some chicks by now) please let me know.Continue reading
Being remote this semester has me missing a lot of things about Kenyon, including Peirce Hall’s cuisine. There’s something about waiting in line for food that makes it taste better, I suppose. Since I was feeling so homesick (Peirce-sick?) for Peirce food, I decided to try and recreate Peirce dishes at home.Continue reading
It’s October! The leaves are changing, you’re realizing that you shouldn’t have skipped that week of Modern Quest readings, and your once-perfect skin is beginning its annual shedding. With the cold weather comes dry skin and, boy, this year it’s looking rough. Your Glossier moisturizer has dried up and your $30 Organic Spirulina Gluten-Free Foaming Face Mask has grown spots of its own, so what can you do? This wouldn’t be a problem if you had access to a Lush or even the Target skin care aisle, but the closest thing in Gambier is the Burt’s Bees section in the Bookstore and, let’s be honest, your frequent VI trips have left you with a measly $3.44 on your K-Card. I guess you’ll just have to eat away your sorrows in… That’s it! Peirce! It’s time to game the system and make your meal plan work for you and your face.