Ask A First-Year Trying to Buy Drugs

drug cat gif

Yo, I do soooo many drugs.

Dear First-Year Trying to Buy Drugs,

I think I have a problem. Look, I’m no Joaquin Phoenix, but Netflix is the love of my life — in the course of a whole day, it’s the only one who bothers to ask me “what I think.” I’m not comfortable turning to anyone else for advice — I mean, its movie suggestions are spot-on. Who needs human company when you have unlimited access to obscure romcoms and bad TLC programming? Don’t answer that. Anyway, I can’t bear to lie to my one and only, but Netflix insists on asking me if I would like to share my movie preferences with my friends. The problem is — what friends? I got rid of them all so that they wouldn’t interfere with my relationship with ‘Flixie.’ I don’t know how to break it to her. I feel like she might be hinting at breaking up with me. Help?


Can’t Nix The ‘Flix

Dear Can’t Nix The ‘Flix, Continue reading