The Kenyon College Magic Tree House Series: Follow The Adventures of Two Students on an Acid Trip Who Think They’re Traveling Through Time

91JmRQ7Pq6LSam ’21 and Julia ’20 are just two regular Kenyon kids, but when they take a tab of acid and discover a tree house in the BFEC, something magical happens…

This series follows the adventures of Sam and Julia, two children who are magically transported to historical Kenyon settings through the use of a mysterious tree house and psychedelic drugs. Enlisted to help Philander Chase — a powerful enchantress — they set out to learn about historic Kenyon and solve age old puzzles such as: Are my shits liquid because of Peirce coffee or anxiety? Should I dye my hair or just buy some blue eyeliner? Do I have to live in Brooklyn Post-Grad? Continue reading

A Guide to Fall Break: Do More than Psychedelic Drugs

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We recognize that The Thrill has given you suggestions on how to handle this glorious four day weekend before; however, now that it is 2018 and the 2020 plan has ripped our campus to shreds, those of us staying at Gund College for Fall Break need a little extra guidance in order to entertain ourselves.

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Fernando Elana Granada: My Romantic Albeit Problematic Fling While Abroad, and How I Got Out of It Okay

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A brief history of the first time Fernando and I met. Photo Credit: Emily Sakamoto ’16

This is the story of how my life came the closest it’s ever been to Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona, complete with a spunky but naive American, a suffering artist-stereotype of a human, and how a textbook romance turned into emotional manipulation.

My friends have heard this story once already. My good friends have heard it at least three times. My friends from abroad witnessed it. But I probably haven’t told you yet. It’s a good one.

Let me tell you about this guy. You won’t believe he exists. Hell, I was certain he was a figment of my imagination for the entirety of our fling. But this is 100% true.

***This article discusses emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, and toxic relationships.***

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Ask A First-Year Trying to Buy Drugs

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Yo, I do soooo many drugs.

Dear First-Year Trying to Buy Drugs,

I think I have a problem. Look, I’m no Joaquin Phoenix, but Netflix is the love of my life — in the course of a whole day, it’s the only one who bothers to ask me “what I think.” I’m not comfortable turning to anyone else for advice — I mean, its movie suggestions are spot-on. Who needs human company when you have unlimited access to obscure romcoms and bad TLC programming? Don’t answer that. Anyway, I can’t bear to lie to my one and only, but Netflix insists on asking me if I would like to share my movie preferences with my friends. The problem is — what friends? I got rid of them all so that they wouldn’t interfere with my relationship with ‘Flixie.’ I don’t know how to break it to her. I feel like she might be hinting at breaking up with me. Help?

From,

Can’t Nix The ‘Flix

Dear Can’t Nix The ‘Flix, Continue reading