Hello everyone once again! It’s your oldest and greatest kitchen friend, Nate, here to deliver to you 1) a gentle kiss upon the forehead, mwah, love you and 2) a new recipe! Spring is in the air, friends, and so are EGGS. In the words of Grampa Thrill, Cat March, “It’s egg season–the eggs are ripe” and boy oh boy is that true.
Happy Brunch, children! Welcome to the first installment of a potential new regular segment (depending on if it’s funny or not lol) called Nate’s Cookbook.
Today began like any other day, by making love to a plate of eggs. I was fortunate enough to arrive at breakfast around 9:35, the end of hot breakfast and the beginning of extendo. It’s that time when the last piping hot pan of eggs gazes at me from across the servery. When you feel that kind of love you know. For those of you who enjoy the fruits that breakfast has to offer, you also know that no one shows up at 9:30 for extendo. Instead, extendo begins at precisely 10:07 with a mad rush for coffee ennemas and burnt bagels. I’ve wittnessed it. I’ve been in it. I’ve survived. This is my story.
How was your extendo?
“A mind numbing thrill ride of a time”
The Farm at Kenyon has been sending out enthusiastic, egg-centric emails nearly every week, and I’ve been devouring each friggin’ one. Fresh delicious eggs for sale outside of Farr Hall? Wednesdays between 4:00 and 5:30? Four dollars per dozen? Sign me the heck UP, my dude! I came to Kenyon specifically
for the student-raised produce! No one can break my dang spirit when I’ve got a carton full of luscious local eggs by my side! NO ONE!
So I cut up some old farm emails and used their text to make some more haikus. I love eggs too much to let this old hobby o’ mine fall by the wayside. Enjoy!
Over the past few weeks, I have been passionately devouring each and every Kenyon Farm email. They perfectly capture the beauty and valor of the humble Egg, then provide us (mere students!) with an opportunity to adopt at least a half dozen tiny wonders of our own. For a meager sum, we, too, can celebrate the miracle that is The Egg. And it’s all thanks to them.
These emails have become important to me, so much so that I decided to celebrate them through verse. Each word of the following haikus has been hand-picked from the many phrases contained within the Farm’s glorious correspondences. Travel with me through the highs and lows of Kenyon’s most heartwarming saga: The Journey of the Farm-Fresh Egg.
Hello, young lovers. Has the appeal of the VI worn thin? Do the fluorescent lights of dormitories dull your wit and diminish your libido? Have no fear. No fear whatsoever. There Is No Reason To Be Afraid. The air is thick with leaves and the autumnal musk of gourds, and apple nog flows thick from every tree orifice. Got a cutie to eat “””food””” with? Of course you do. Celebrate autumn with your SO by skittering outside the clammy sanctuary of your room and following these simple steps.
- Prepare the food. It is time to feast, and we are hungry. If you’re an organic food nut like me (I only eat local grubs and tubers), now is the time to lay your own eggs. Remember to drink a lot of water and be sure not to clench too hard. If your flesh pouches are too weak to carry your egg bounty, a Peirce cup works too.
The recent additions of the Peirce babies have gotten us at The Thrill to start thinking about the future of humanity. Though it may seem daunting and far away, at some point, some of us will possibly procreate, and continue the world’s population. Incredible. Here are our humble suggestions of professors who we believe could improve the world, should their genetic material be mixed with yours.
1. Associate Professor of Classics Zoe Kontes. Would your child sail the Aegean Sea? Or perhaps bust antiquities thieves? The possibilities would be endless for your child–just don’t let an Oedipus Complex develop.