There’s a bot for everything these days, and I was delighted to discover this week that someone much more technically savvy than I developed a bot that can scan any Twitter account and write a sonnet with its tweets. I took it for a spin to see how many English majors it could outdo.
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Lentz House, the home of the biggest major on campus.
Kenyon’s students aren’t (usually) the most competitive bunch, perhaps best evidenced by the fact that if you ask the average student what the most popular major on campus is, you’re likely to hear “Uh, English maybe?” or “I think I heard Econ got a lot of freshpersons this year” in response.
I like big books and I cannot lie HA HA HA English major inside joke no one else understands!!!!11!!!
Maybe you’re an English major. Maybe you aren’t. Maybe you only speak a rare dialect of Esperanto. But like it or not, Kenyon is a thriving rat’s nest of English majors, many of whom are on the verge of a nervous breakdown. We can all get a little sensitive about our intended degrees, be they in the Natural Sciences, the Social Sciences, the Humanities, the Fine Arts, the Seriously I’m Fine Arts, the Please Leave Me Alone Arts, or the Kevin, Your Puny Mind Could Never Begin to Comprehend the Deep Abyss of Human Woe that is Me, You Illiterate Buffoon Arts. As an English major I know firsthand the tediousness of having to field numerous questions about my area of interest. The following are things to NEVER say to an English major EVER.
1) Why are your fingernails five feet long? Uh, maybe because of luminary author Kurt Vonnegut? Slaughterhouse Five? Like, learn a book.
Umm bish don’t make me go all Toni Morrison on your ass. (via wordpress)
I’m a bad English major.
“But Gracie, your articles are so captivating! Every time you post one, I wet my pants with excitement! Look, it’s happening now!”
I know, I know. Calm down, small one. I know how you feel about me. But seriously, despite my obvious blogging prowess, I’m a pretty poor example of a Kenyon English major. Every time I read a chapter of John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress, I have to hop on SparkNotes to get a layman’s rundown of the allegory I just grossly misinterpreted. (Sorry, Professor Prakas. I’m doing my best.)
The Kenyon Thrill 