If there’s one thing I’ve learned in college, it’s that everybody has a little something hidden inside of them. For some, it might just be a testicle that never quite dropped. For others, it might be a bag of cocaine right around the corner from the good ol’ large intestine. But more commonly than drugs and uni-balls, people have alter egos lurking deep below the surface, waiting for a drop of alcohol to bring them to life. I mean, sometimes I tell people I’m Jesus because he turned water into wine and I can turn wine into pee. Seems pretty legit to me. You know–hot toddy, potty–potato, potahto. You feel me. Anyways, here are 5 Kenyon-specific drunk alter egos.
1. The church bell tollers. What’s obviously drunk and produces loud noises vaguely resembling the Harry Potter theme song? Your alter ego! But in broad daylight, it’s probably just those damn bell tollers. You know, do doo da do do do do, do da doo doo do DUDE! What is up? Cove o’clock? Cove o’clock. Continue reading