Here at The Thrill, we take pride in reminding you of your most awkward moments at Kenyon. Since we won’t be with you over the holidays, here’s a little present from us to you: The Holiday GIF Guide, in which we catalog all of your worst holiday moments…before they even happen.
In short: You know that time in high school where all of your friends were dating someone but you? It sucked, right? Well, that’s how I feel at all family functions now.
In Long: Two weeks ago my sister and her husband had a healthy and beautiful baby girl. And six months ago my other sister got married and recently bought a house with her husband. Getting married, buying real estate and having babies are all very normal adult things to do in your late 20s, 30s and 40s. When I tell people what my older sisters are doing with their lives, people at first turn their heads slightly to the left, squint, and ask, “And, how old is your sister?” … “She’s 30.” … “Good! That’s totally normal. … So, I guess you’re not the baby anymore!” And that’s where they are wrong; I will always be a baby.
So your parents aren’t coming this weekend. Looks like you’re about to get crafty. Whether it’s mooching a free meal from your home biscuit’s family or figuring out how to cope with your solitude, here are a few suggestions to get you through the weekend:
There are a lot of things one could say to excuse my actions on that one 4th July many years ago. My elder sister should have been more careful, my mother more observant and the sparkler company should have put a more convincing warning on the box that these sticks of fire are not suitable for use around young children. Even after considering all those fine arguments, the fact remains: I ran beeline (with probably my eyes closed) towards my eldest sister, Elaine, who was holding a sparkler in each hand. I might have been mad at her, I might have been sad at her or just a crazy 5-year-old girl that had consumed copious amounts of candy that day. Whatever the reason, my actions resulted in me being severely burned on the chin by a sparkler and my sisters calling me “chin girl.” Continue reading
Oh, you’re headed home? Thrilling. Before you spout off about your plans to do everything, let’s take a minute to talk about heading home. You may encounter those things called parents and siblings. Shit. Don’t panic, as per usual we have your back. Some tips for pulling yourself together before you bounce:
The sudden influx of the prospie-parent dynamic duos this week has doubled Gambier’s population and has likely sent your pansy-ass into an original case of culture shock. And you just got over the Amish invasion. Cool your jets man, we’re here to help. A few tips on prospie/tour group etiquette:
For the next few nights only the Kenyon Department of Modern Languages and Literatures, the Kenyon Film Society, and the French American Cultural Exchange program will be hosting five contemporary French films. Knowing nothing about French film, I will most likely pop in for at least 1 if not all of them. French Club will not be in attendance.
Each of the films will be followed up with discussions. While the first film was shown last night at the KAC, each of the remaining films with be shown in the Community Foundation Theater in the Gund Gallery.
- Where: Gund Gallery Community Foundation Theater.
- When: Tonight at 7:00 (A Cat In Paris) and 9:30 (Of Gods and Men). Saturday at 7:05 p.m. (Romantic Anonymous) and 9:30 p.m. (A Prophet).
See you there maybe? I’ll be the one with [insert French stereotype].