Original Thrill Produced Fan Fiction: The Impossible Love

In honor of our recent Kenyon fan fiction post, we here at the Thrill decided that maybe it’s time for us to emulate some of Kenyon’s more prestigious literary institutions such as the Kenyon Review or Kenyon Collegiate.  That’s right, for the first time, we here at the Thrill are offering some original Kenyon themed fan fiction.

The Impossible Love

Allison, our plucky young heroine, sat alone at a booth in Wiggin Street Cafe.  She was waiting for someone.  As she waited, she idly swirled her spoon through her vanilla latte, contemplating things that Kenyon students think about – the guy she had stupidly texted Saturday night, her paper on Nietzsche, and her roommate who had spilled hot nacho cheese all over the floor and hadn’t cleaned it up.

She shook her head, wanting to rid herself of those thoughts.  She needed to focus on her upcoming conversation.  Today was the day she was going to finally tell Rutherford how she felt.

Allison Janney was in love with Rutherford B. Hayes and there was nothing she could do about it.  Although she often doubted that it could work, she had to believe in it.  If they couldn’t make it work, then love was dead.
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Kenyon Fanfiction Reviews: Everyone Wants to Kill Us Edition

I guess I'll have to write the Pokemon/Kenyon fic someday.

I guess I’ll have to write the Pokemon/Kenyon fic someday.

Since our last foray into the Internet’s terrifying archives, the world has increased the number of beloved characters stepping into Gambier and shedding their clothes. So here we go again, with some reviews of Kenyon fanfiction.

Sting like a Bee

  • Fandom: CSI
  • Summary: “This time Sara has an insect problem. Companion piece to Float like a Butterfly, so it’s set in the same universe as Bugsville, OH and Swing Time. GSR”
  • Review: Well, I know absolutely nothing about CSI, but as this is a sequel to a previously reviewed fic, I thought I should give it a go. The author seems to have a firm grasp of what the BFEC looks like, though I’ve never seen a fox and her “pups” while traversing the forest. I’m not really sure I get anything more out of the dynamic of the two characters besides vague romantic interest, but I’m sure that if I knew anything about CSI I’d like it. The writing is sharp, and the author has a strangely fascinating knowledge of yellow jackets. Overall, it’s a cute fic about someone who hates bugs, which is something I can relate to.
  • Best Line: “So… a complete stranger accosts me and talks about buzzards’ testicles and I’m supposed to be honored.”
  • Read it here

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10 o’clock list: Places at Kenyon Where Secret Hot Springs are Most Likely to be Located

Actual fictional photo of what is probably underneath the KAC (via idahohotsprings.com).

Kenyon in the evening is a mysterious place, old friends. As I am sure you have been told, the school holds secrets, stories tucked into the cracks of Old Kenyon, whispers huddled against the stones of the Gates of Hell. The quiet befits the legends, the night befits the hush.  And now as you wander, old friends, dear poets adrift in the evening still, watch where your midnight footsteps take you. Keep to the gravel of Middle Path, for do you know what lies beyond the well worn arteries of our beloved Alma Mater? All I can say is that I’ve seen through the Kokosing mist, and I know where all the secret hot springs probably are. Or at least where they should be. Or where they would be if the goddess was actually paying any attention to me at all.

  1. New Apts– In a perfect world, the New Apts ravine wouldn’t just be home to daddy long legs and juniors with high lottery numbers, the dreaded valley would also be home to hot springs.  During the winter, especially after a long walk home from the library, turning a wooded corner to see a steaming waterfall pooling in a secluded rocky nook would melt any icy heart. Continue reading