If John Green Wrote a Kenyon-Inspired YA Novel, This Would Be the Summary

Hold on to your seats, because we at The Thrill obtained an advanced copy the newest YA hit: Finding Middlepath. This 100% real, verifiably true summary comes straight from the ever-flowing pen of Kenyon’s most esteemed export, the metaphor man himself, John Michael Green. Read it and weep.

College freshman Philander Mather-McBride is exceptionally ordinary. He plans to live the rest of his life with his only personality traits being his freckles and the fact that he has read Catcher in the Rye once. That is, until he meets enigmatic junior Koko Rivers. Koko is eccentric and unconventionally beautiful (you know, the type of beautiful that makes her attainable to a very boring guy). She divides her time between aimlessly frolicking through the cornfields of their rural Ohio campus and talking to the rat she found in her NCA.

And then, one magical Deb Ball night, Koko invites Philander into her world. And his life changes forever.

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Middle School Fiction: A Kenyon Story

Please tell me I wasn't the only one. (via my middle school journal)

Please tell me I wasn’t the only one. (via my middle school journal)

You’ve heard of our feature on elementary school journals, where we dive into the past lives of Kenyon students and humiliate them for all the internet to see. But what of the storytellers? You know, the kids who got picked last for dodgeball because their daydreams got in the way of their reflexes; the kids who filled the margins of their copy of Because of Winn Dixie with huge, winding fantasy novels about Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter; the kids who swore they’d be famous authors by age 20, college notwithstanding.

Well, today we’ve chosen to celebrate the young writers among us. We’ve unearthed a few selections from Kenyon students’ middle school portfolios and are publishing them for all the world to see. Buckle up, ’cause things might get weird.

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