Did you hear? Fifty Shades of Grey is coming out this week, just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s funny how that seems to work out- a romantic movie coming out at the same time as a big romantic holiday. I bet the movie executives are happy about how that turned out. Anyways, it’s time for the Friday Ketchup. Continue reading
We are students at an institution that boasts some of the greatest names literary history on the alumni and staff roster. We’ve got E.L. Doctorow and P.F. Kluge, along with Robie Macauley and even John Green. Do you think John Crowe Ransom would be caught dead with a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in his bag? Hell no. But we all have needs, and those needs need to be met. So I give you my ideas for erotic novels that would please the sensitive and slightly pretentious palate of a liberal arts student.
1. A Man Will Always Need Moore. In this false historical account, our esteemed College founder travels to England to receive funds for his school. Amongst a crowd of benefactors, he meets Hannah Moore. Expecting a crotchety old maid, he’s surprised to find that this older woman is vivacious and full of wit. He falls for her personality, her poetry and finally her body. But this religious man must come to terms with the fact that this relationship is doomed — he’s married and must return to Ohio as soon as he finds sufficient funds. Filled with unmatched passion, A Man Will Always Need Moore is an unexpected ecclesiastical pleasure house and not to be missed.