Quiz: Should You Mulligan That Class Or Fake Your Own Death?

Let’s face it: first semester Econ has been tough. You’ve neglected homework assignments, failed tests, and disappointed your professor — and, at this point, it seems like the registrar’s one-time “Mulligan” option might be your best bet at academic safety. 

However, if you’re not into confrontation, chances are you’ve been considering the only other rational option: staging a home invasion, road tripping to Mexico, getting a job in a tinfoil factory, and maybe marrying a cute local to make yourself less suspicious in the eyes of the Mexican government. 

Unsure of which to choose? Take this quiz to find out!

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How to Survive Your “Collaborative” Final Project

Okay, so your professor is trying to be ~hip~ and ~non-traditional~ and has assigned a “collaborative” final project. Don’t panic. Even though your grade now hinges on other, likely incompetent, people, you must remember to stay calm. Here are some steps to combat the inevitable feelings of dread, frustration, and anxiety.

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NATE’S COOKBOOK: WORD SALAD (with Lillian and Jane)

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The transcript 

Okay Kenyon, we dropped the ball. Executive Editor, Nate Winer ’19, Staff Writer, Lillian Fox Peckos ’20 and myself (Daily Editor, Jane Zisman ’20) all committed to write some content for this highly regarded publication last Sunday at an editor’s meeting that I skipped. Now that the day has come for our work of collaborative, literary genius to be published, we of course have nothing more to present than the three of us sitting in Peirce, lamenting our inability to do jack shit.

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The Thrill Rates Energy Drinks

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Hello, my fellow caffeine fiends! The end of the year has finally arrived and I can see many late nights and early mornings in our collective future. Personally, I’m a big fan of brightly colored energy drinks for getting through the insane amounts of work that we all have. My high school friends and I have been compiling a list of the best and worst energy drinks since we were first years, and it is now time to publish what we have learned. Here, to aid your indecisiveness and desire for the best of the best, are our well-researched ratings of energy and coffee drinks available at Kenyon. And while you’re at the Market, why not buy some ramen and wine (lists coming later this week!) to go along with your caffeinated poison? Continue reading