The Thrill Rates Energy Drinks

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Hello, my fellow caffeine fiends! The end of the year has finally arrived and I can see many late nights and early mornings in our collective future. Personally, I’m a big fan of brightly colored energy drinks for getting through the insane amounts of work that we all have. My high school friends and I have been compiling a list of the best and worst energy drinks since we were first years, and it is now time to publish what we have learned. Here, to aid your indecisiveness and desire for the best of the best, are our well-researched ratings of energy and coffee drinks available at Kenyon. And while you’re at the Market, why not buy some ramen and wine (lists coming later this week!) to go along with your caffeinated poison? Continue reading

Ideas I Gave My Roommate for Her Stop-Motion Animation Projects

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Spoiler Alert: She didn’t take any of them! Not out of lack of love or trust, but just because they fell short of her vision, artistically speaking. Stop-motion animation is, perhaps, one of the most difficult artistic crafts in the movie and art-making game, which is why I am so utterly impressed that some of my fellow compatriots are making fantastic feature short films from what we know as the cradle of civilization, Gambier, OH. How these studio art kids find artistic (divine?) inspiration in this tiny town is frankly beyond me. So of course, I gotta take some type of crack at it! God, this might be for a pretty niche audience but I think it’s working. Continue reading

Overheard at Kenyon: Finals Week

You’re not sure whether you’re about to vomit from stress, anxiety induced nausea, or your new diet of Red Bull, market tuna sandwiches, and cigarettes. Welcome to finals week! Here’s the fun part: us here at the Thrill have been listening. We’ve overheard all the nonsense that has come out of your crusty mouths. Behold, Overheard at Kenyon: Finals Week Edition.

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Kenyon Horoscopes: Getting You Through Finals

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via my brain

Thanksgiving break is over and we as a student body are back and pretty much worse than ever! The good news: I’m here to show you the Light and the Way with your horoscope. Here’s some sage advice to follow as you navigate the post-Thanksgiving break pre-winter break swampland that is our campus. Woooohooooo!

Aries- Try going on fewer existential walks around campus at 3am. Listen to the Titanic soundtrack and cry instead. Take care of yourself!

Best place for a breakdown: the cheese section of the market.
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The Monday Catchup

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This summer choose a sunscreen that has an SPF of 30 or higher such as ketchup

I know what you’re smelling. It’s the stench of finals, but behind that there is a whiff of promise — of some sort of summer camp, camp fire, fire fly summer. It’s close friend, but you know what you have to do before you can start cracking open brewskis on the beach with your bros.

You have to rub your eyes, pop an advil (or two), wipe the crusty drool from the corner of your mouth, look at yourself in the mirror and bask in your genius. Walk down middle path double-fisting your desired diuretic(s) of choice (coffee is nice, but we will also accept tea, soda, or alcohol as alternatives or adjuncts). Before you abandon you all hope, cling to these remnants of the weekend.

“The Kokes made me feel very special”

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Kenyon Cards Against Humanity: Finals and Holiday Cheer Expansion

 

Guess who’s back! Just in time for the most wonderful time of the year! FINALS SEASON! I know I’m excited, and that of course, is why I am writing this article instead of say, crying over an English paper.

ANYWAY. You’re obviously not here because you’re interested in doing any schoolwork, so let’s get started on our fancy new FINALS and HOLIDAY CHEER expansion pack!

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