You could say that, prior to writing this article, my knowledge of Tinder was pretty limited. On the scale of, “Is it an app for collecting firewood?” to, “Oh yeah I totally just met my freaky freak of the week on there”, I was somewhere in the middle. After a brief Google search and the realization that Ask Jeeves no longer exists, I sat down in my Taft, like Thoreau without the pond, to offer you this stunningly well-informed advice about Kenyon-themed Tinder pick-up lines. Godspeed.
1. ResLife = Thug Life. Go for the gold with a few classic housing-themed lines. Example A: “Yo girl, let’s just say my shaft is about as high as the vaulted ceiling of a third floor Taft.” Right. If you’re feeling a little less outrightly vulgar, you could break the ice with something like, “You must live on the Kenyon Farm because you make my cock a-doodle-doo.” Continue reading