Peppermint Patty was such a bitch in this special.

Unlike many Kenyon first-year students who returned home to partake in traditional Bacchanalian festivities with their high school friends, I did not. I have the misfortune of having friends with the bad judgment to pursue higher education in Canada or to get stuck in a Costco in rural Wisconsin for three hours while we’re supposed to be getting sushi (How does that even happen, Aparna?). And though I had a pleasant time going to all of the grocery stores in town to try to acquire Twinkies (we failed) and nearly getting hip-checked over a jacket at the mall on Black Friday (I was bigger than her) with my various other friends, I have to say that the most memorable moments of my break happened with my beloved and slightly insane family.

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