You know the scene: It’s a Saturday night. You and your friends have just finished gorging on some Dominos cheesy bread after a night of hitting up a random all-campus followed by some NCA-hopping. You and your friend are the last two survivors at 3 AM when everyone’s gone to sleep, hiding out in the common room as both of your roommates are asleep. It is my theory the deepest of conversations happen past midnight, but that’s kind of hard to accomplish when so many weird beings pass through the common room in a drunken stupor. Here are some freaky things I’ve overheard or seen in the common room at 3 AM.
Continue readingTag Archives: First-Year
It Happened to Me: I Spent Five Minutes in LAX NCA and Now I Have a Massive Ulcer

Picture this: it is your second weekend on The Hill. You and your friends have just skillfully finessed your way into LAX NCA, where the music is loud, the heat is oppressive, and some sophomore is dry-heaving into a bag of Doritos. You stay for a few minutes — just long enough to acquaint yourself with the entire first floor of Gund — before receding back into the tepid womb that is your first-year dorm.
Upon waking up the next morning, you feel different. Perhaps, you suppose, you’re a changed woman — perhaps last night’s sweaty pilgrimage finally transformed you into the poised, self-sufficient, borderline emaciated Kenyon girl that you’ve always aspired to be.
As it turns out, you’ve just developed a massive ulcer.
In The Studio: Wholesome (FKA Chocolate For Dogs)
Welcome to In the Studio, a feature dedicated to exploring the fantastic independent musicians at Kenyon. This week, we showcase Wholesome, a four-piece band consisting of Shane Wells ’22 of Nashville, Oliver Pearson ’22 of Los Angeles, and Eli Haberberg ’22 and Elijah Newman ’22 of New York.
Most First Year Things We’ve Ever Done
It’s just a know fact that first years typically have a tendency to get confused, puke a lot, and aggressively attend all campus parties. We have all been there, so don’t be ashamed. Let’s take a look at some of our best/worst first year moments and hopefully you can relate!
Acknowledging The Lost Generation: half the student body has never experienced the deli
Never has the deli man’s voice graced their ears. Never has the overwhelming stench lingered on their jean jacket. Never has their phone lit up the 2:00 am darkness of their dorm room with a text that reads, “deli tomorrow?”.
Half of the student body currently on Kenyon’s campus has never lived in a Kenyon world that included the deli. This is The Lost Generation. Continue reading