Freak Things I’ve Heard In The Common Room At 3 A.M

You know the scene: It’s a Saturday night. You and your friends have just finished gorging on some Dominos cheesy bread after a night of hitting up a random all-campus followed by some NCA-hopping. You and your friend are the last two survivors at 3 AM when everyone’s gone to sleep, hiding out in the common room as both of your roommates are asleep. It is my theory the  deepest of conversations happen past midnight, but that’s kind of hard to accomplish when so many weird beings pass through the common room in a drunken stupor. Here are some freaky things I’ve overheard or seen in the common room at 3 AM.

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It Happened to Me: I Spent Five Minutes in LAX NCA and Now I Have a Massive Ulcer

Picture this: it is your second weekend on The Hill. You and your friends have just skillfully finessed your way into LAX NCA, where the music is loud, the heat is oppressive, and some sophomore is dry-heaving into a bag of Doritos. You stay for a few minutes — just long enough to acquaint yourself with the entire first floor of Gund — before receding back into the tepid womb that is your first-year dorm. 

Upon waking up the next morning, you feel different. Perhaps, you suppose, you’re a changed woman — perhaps last night’s sweaty pilgrimage finally transformed you into the poised, self-sufficient, borderline emaciated Kenyon girl that you’ve always aspired to be. 

As it turns out, you’ve just developed a massive ulcer.

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In The Studio: Wholesome (FKA Chocolate For Dogs)

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Welcome to In the Studio, a feature dedicated to exploring the fantastic independent musicians at Kenyon. This week, we showcase Wholesome, a four-piece band consisting of Shane Wells ’22 of Nashville, Oliver Pearson ’22 of Los Angeles, and Eli Haberberg ’22 and Elijah Newman ’22 of New York.

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Acknowledging The Lost Generation: half the student body has never experienced the deli

Screen Shot 2018-10-02 at 8.25.26 PMNever has the deli man’s voice graced their ears. Never has the overwhelming stench lingered on their jean jacket. Never has their phone lit up the 2:00 am darkness of their dorm room with a text that reads, “deli tomorrow?”.

Half of the student body currently on Kenyon’s campus has never lived in a Kenyon world that included the deli. This is The Lost Generation. Continue reading

First-Years v. Construction

futuristic cityWith all the construction it’s pretty hard to tell what’s actually being accomplished.

Some might say it’s impossible in fact. Especially for a first-year who has a lot of other things to think about.

This is the story of one woman’s journey to see how outlandish of construction projects she could convince first-years to take a stance on. (Deep thanks go out to all the first-years interviewed for being good sports and generally hilarious people).

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