Hi Freshmen! It’s almost mid-September and you know what that means. You’ve been at Kenyon for over a fortnight! Isn’t crazy to think that less than a month ago your parents blindfolded you, drove you to Gambier, OH, and then threw you out of the car leaving you with a gift card to Pep Boys and a GG Allin album. Your parents are fucked up. But then you learned that you had been accepted to Kenyon Class of 2020 and all was well. You moved into your room, you met your CA, and then you met your hallmates. One of your hallmates particularly stuck out to you. Not because she only spoke in Latin and engraved her name and the date of her death on her door with her fingernail, but instead because she’s from the Bay area and you think she might know your friend Kyle.