I Let Robots Tell Me What to Eat for 3 Days

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Zo, you trickster, you!

 

Look, I’m not gonna beat around the bush. Here at the Thrill we like to do dumb shit in Peirce that would upset our health-conscious parents and is probably contributing to our inevitable descent into heart failure. It’s almost become a rite of passage to debase ourselves in the servery and this week, it’s finally my time to shine. But what could I do that would keep your attention? How do I cater to the ever-shifting eye of Kenyon’s student body?

My answer: I let an AI tell me what to eat. It made me physically ill. It made me sad.

This is my story.

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The Crap in our Refrigerators: Illustrated

A Kenyon student emerges from their final class of the day and heads to their dorm. It’s 4:00 pm and the comfort of their bed is as enticing as a thick cut of meatloaf slathered in ketchup*. That sweet bliss of a peaceful dorm room is at their finger tips as they turn the handle of their door. However, upon entry, the student knows something is wrong; there is an odor in the room. Now, this odor isn’t a familiar odor. It isn’t the dank smell of the hallway. It isn’t the stale beer of the stairwell. It isn’t the abandoned slice of pizza from an all-campus that has been sitting on the water fountain for 3 days. What could it be? The student strides over to the mini fridge in the corner of their room and flings the door open.

 

* if you do not find this image enticing find me in person and we will talk. Peirce meatloaf is a not so hidden gem. Ketchup is the caviar of the masses.

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Peirce Hack: Cinnamon Apple Grilled Cheese

cinnamon-apple-butter-grilled-cheeseEven though the temperature is hovering around the 80s and Birkenstocks are still everyone’s shoe of choice, I can safely say that autumn is now upon us. While I’m a huge proponent of pumpkin spice everything and soup for every meal, my favorite fall snack is a crisp apple with, if I’m feeling a little extra festive, a sprinkle of cinnamon. The other day I wondered what would happen if I paired this with the timeless grilled cheese sandwich and not to brag, but this may be the Best Peirce Hack Yet.

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10 o’clock list: Places to Get Food After the Market Closes at 6 pm

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Hey, you! I haven’t seen you in forever! How is Stats going? Did you finally figure out what was causing that electrical humming in your room? No? Well, how’s your food situation? I heard that someone saw you crying outside of the Market while listening to the Monster Mash, but don’t worry, we’ve all been there. Here’s some advice for those cold nights when you forget that your source for Spongebob popsicles closes at 6 pm. Stay strong buddy, we’re all rooting for you.

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What Does Your Favorite Market Snack Say About You?

What Does Your Favorite Market Snack Say About You?

As the only place in Gambier that sells delicacies like market chili and the always popular Keystone Light, the Village Market has a special place in our hearts. Next time you’re in need of a study break, pregame provisions, or just something to inhale while binge-watching Big Little Lies , take note of your chosen snack and finally figure out who you really are.

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Inside the Artist

Inside the Artist
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who is an artist and what is inside of them?

One of the most popular series here at the Thrill is our “Inside the Artist’s Sketchbook”  feature. We interview an artist and display their work as a way to shine a spotlight on some of Kenyon’s finest artists. But what happens if you ignore the sketchbook and focus on what’s actually inside the artist?

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Peircing the Veil: The Art of Eating Alone

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At least once in your Kenyon career, you will indeed feel the need to satisfy your basic human desire for nutrients, and there will indeed be no one to join you on your journey towards self-sustenance. As one too many old men in bathtubs on the Viagra commercial tell me, “It happens to everyone”. 

Sitting alone in Peirce presents a dichotomy of reputation: either you are embarrassingly lonely or confident and independent. I’m here to help you lean on the brighter end of the spectrum.*

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