The Monday Catchup

The Monday Catchup

Today marks the four year anniversary of the death of devoted Kenyon staff member, Gourdzilla. Gourdzilla’s death in 2013 was unexpected. She suffered a heart attack while driving home from work. Her car swerved and met a telephone pole just off of 279. She was declared dead upon impact. When our campus was rocked by news of her death, students came out in droves to share fond memories. Sam Spam ’11 delivered this eulogy at Gourdzilla’s funeral service.

“We are all shocked by the sudden passing of our sweet Gourdzilla. Born Gourdzilla Octavia Stephens, she adopted the moniker ‘Gourdzilla’ as a result of her offensively massive size. Our love was directly proportional to that size. All 1,084 pounds of her will be missed. Rest in peace, Gourd-y.”

I implore you to take a moment of silence today to commemorate our favorite fallen gourd, whether you knew her personally or not. May her soul guide you each and every day. May her morbid, gourd-bid obesity touch you in ways you haven’t even considered. I hope she appeared to you this weekend. In fact, how was your weekend?

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Adjusted Schedule Tomorrow

Don’t forget that since tomorrow is Founder’s Day and Matriculation, there’s an adjusted schedule for the morning:

  • 8:10 – 9:30 a.m. — changes to — 8:10 – 9:20 a.m.
  • 8:10 – 11:00 a.m. — changes to — 8:10 – 10:40 a.m.
  • 9:40 – 11:00 a.m. — changes to — 9:30 – 10:40 a.m.

The Founder’s Day Ceremony beginds at 11:10 a.m. in Rosse Hall, followed by the planting of the Class of 2018 Tree. The Matriculation book can be signed from 1-4 p.m.

First-Year Expectations and Realities of Matriculation

signing of the declaration of independence

Signing the Matriculation book will feel like this. Right?


At last, today is the day that first-years become “students.” Apparently, up until now we have been in purgatory and we finally get to take part in yet another ceremony dedicated just to first-years after Orientation. For many, the event could seem odd. Weren’t we officially Kenyon students that time a CA wrote us up in McBride? Nevertheless, Matriculation symbolizes a greater event. Finally we have proven to the Kenyon community that we are worthy to become part of an alumni group that includes presidents, writer, actors, and other notorious people. Frankly, I’m not sure what to expect out of the event. Perhaps some great Kenyon god like Philander Chase will appear and show us the “special” way to fame and success.

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Today Is Founders’ Day: The Adjusted Schedule

philander chase

Founders’ Day has arrived yet again. Today, Kenyon will honor some of its most important contributors–from Philander Chase to a variety of professors and administrators.  New students will also have the opportunity to take the Matriculation Oath as a measure of loyalty to the college. Please note that as a result of today’s events, the morning schedule is as follows: 8:10 a.m.-9:20 a.m., 9:30 a.m.-10:40 a.m. The Founders’ Day ceremony will begin at 11:10 a.m. in Rosse Hall Auditorium. Be sure to sign the Matriculation Book when the ceremony is done!

Today Is Founders’ Day: Adjusted Schedule and Other Details

He signed the book…have you?

It’s that time of year again, kids.  Founders’ Day is upon us and I for one am excited for the illustrious flag procession to brighten up my otherwise dreary, winter morning. For those not in the know, Founders’ Day celebrates the long line of people who have helped form the College’s strong foundation. A short address is given by a faculty member relating to an aspect of the College’s history or traditions. The signing of the Matriculation Book will be officially open for first-year and transfer students. Don’t forget the schedule changes that accompany Founders’ Day. The adjusted morning schedule is as follows: 8:10 a.m.-9:20 a.m., 9:30 a.m.- 10:40 a.m. The Flag and Marshal rehearsal begins at 9:00 a.m. and the Platform Party rehearsal begins at 9:15 a.m. The Founders’ Day procession forms at 10:50 a.m. and the ceremony begins at 11:10 a.m. in Rosse Hall Auditorium.

Warning: Founders’ Day is not to be confused with Newman Day. I recommend not throwing back a beer every hour, on the hour. Unless of course, that’s just your style.