First-Years You Will Accidentally Converse With In The Common Room

In order to find the people you click with at Kenyon, you have to be willing to put yourself out there. And what I’ve learned during my two months on this hill is that “out there” usually means out of the comfort of your dorm and into your building’s common room. Maybe you could even find your future spouse there, scrolling through their phone on a 20-year-old leather couch, who knows! But while this is a sure possibility, it’s also likely that you’ll have to talk to a variety of characters before finding your people. These are just some of them.

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A Cocktail for First Years

A Cocktail for First Years

Well, shit. Here I am, going out tonight even though I have enough work to fill an entire weekend. Maybe it’s because I’m a first year and maybe it’s because I’m just a dumbass, but I thought I’d share my cocktail for this weekend that isn’t technically the weekend before finals but still feels just as stressful. Hope you drink this and think about your days of being hungover in the McBride bathroom and being asked “who do you know here?” when you walk into an NCA.

Ingredients:

  • Two shots of Kamchatka
  • Whatever not alcoholic drink sounds appealing today and is sold in the market

Optional:

Garnished beer foam from an entirely tapped keg

A water bottle full of Brisk Raspberry Iced Tea from Peirce (alternative: water from the same fountain that just tastes vaguely like Brisk Raspberry Iced Tea)

Your roommate’s two days expired half and half

Wiggins Street Mocha after the ice has melted

Leftover chemical spill from the Market

Sweat from a shirtless Kenyon Lord Swimmer™

Amish cream cheese

 

Directions:

Take a Peirce cup, and then return it immediately because you know it will never get actually back to Peirce and that’s wasteful and a real dick move, anyway. Find the cleanest cup in your dorm room and pour in two shots of vodka. Ask the girl down the hall from you if your Gender Studies paper is due at 5 pm or midnight on Sunday. When you hear it’s due at midnight, reassure yourself that going out tonight is a good idea. Take a sip of your drink and remember it is just a cup of vodka at this point. Find your mixer of choice and make a really shitty cocktail. Go to an all-campus not wearing enough clothes because you’re still trying to impress a romantic partner at this weird school. Jump up and down with your peers for a little, then go home and help aforementioned girl down the hall from you while she throws up.

 

 

Dumbest Thing My Mom Ever Did: Called D-Cat Gus From Breaking Bad

Dumbest Thing My Mom Ever Did: Called D-Cat Gus From Breaking Bad

It was Parent’s Weekend my freshman year. I was surrounded by students who stunk of Ozium and hangover sweats, all collectively pretending that we weren’t glad as hell that our parents had come back for us a mere month into college. All was going well. Continue reading

Weighing in on Thanksgiving

junkfoodAs a young girl, I knew what the Freshman 15 was before I was even 15 years old. Even then I was reading in CosmoGirl and Seventeen and they taught how to avoid the inevitable. As college grew closer, I began to see the transition not as a threat, but as an opportunity. I was going to LOSE WEIGHT in college! Nothing drastic, but I had ideas for little adjustments that would make me slimmer. With my own schedule, I would eat perfect portions that weren’t dictated by my parents when they made dinner or restaurants when I went out. I was going to eat at 5 PM every night, because that’s what some skinny girls I knew did. I was going to become my Best Self: my thinnest self. Continue reading

Overheard at Kenyon: Back 2 Skewl

He’s always listening. (via Diverse Education)

Welcome back, y’all. This past week has been filled with questions, comments, concerns, and more – here are some tidbits we’ve found along the way:

  • Freshman Talking About Her Sophomore Housing, Probably: “Which one is Caples again?
  • Sophomore, Ready to Get Back In the Groove: “I don’t have any homework, so I guess that means I can start drinking early.” Continue reading

No Fear Gambier: Myths About Scary Upperclassmen, Busted

Via tumblr.

Well, today’s the day. The rest of campus moves in and first-year orientation comes to a close. For you lil’ fresh-babies, college continues to become a tangible reality and it’s overwhelming. How are you supposed to get comfortable in your new environment when there are swarms of cool and confident upperclassmen stomping around? Isn’t this their world and you’re just living in it? What is it that makes upperclassmen so scary? We’re here to bust some myths about your newfound community. Hopefully you can make yourself at home with a clearer mind. Continue reading