Phishing Scam or Kenyon Fuckboi?

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It (sorta) happened to me: my friend got a hilariously bad spam email. When I read it myself, something about the way that the “hacker” spoke sounded oh so familiar. I soon realized that the scammer reminded me of your garden variety Kenyon Kasanova. He managed to take on several classic Kenyon personas over the course of the email, a few of which are below:

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