Photo “art” by Leslie Martin ’14.

A wise guru once tweeted: “The two most awkward things about Kenyon are Sunday mornings and the spacing of the steps outside Ascension…”

Amen. There are few things that are more uncomfortable than watching someone try to hobble down the notorious Ascension steps without limping like a peg-legged pirate who’s attempting to learn how to jerk. It’s time we all learned how to walk out of our intensive French and Econ courses in style! We’re not gonna let some steps step all over us! Here are Five Ways to Conquer the Ascension Steps:

1. Skipadeedoodah – While the average stair ranges from being 8 to 10 inches long, the massive ones outside of Ascension measure in at about 2.5 feet each! No wonder you have to take that extra shuffle-step just to make it to the next stair! Instead of being awkward about it, why not embrace the shuffle with a full-on skip? Not only will you blaze down the stairs in record time, but you’ll also give people the impression that you’re just super happy today. Continue reading →