Hello, yes, it’s that time of year again. Everybody’s making the trek home, whether that involves putting your trust in an elaborate bureaucratic system hellbent on putting you in a metal tube that slingshots you through the air, or taking matters into our own hands and driving home. I live on Long Island, a fact that for some reason upsets every single person I know. This means, among other things, that it’s a nine-hour drive from here to home, and with City traffic and Long Island traffic, it’s more like a twelve hour drive home. So I usually fly, but I have notoriously horrible luck traveling. If I fly, there’s about a fifty percent chance my flight will get cancelled. I’ve been laid over and stranded in Charlotte, Seattle, LaGuardia, Columbus, and Washington D.C., and one time I booked a flight that didn’t exist.
[Editor’s note: I was on the same flight as Chris for Thanksgiving break and we did have to deplane and wait for a new one because our first plane’s door hatch was broken, causing a 2 hour delay. Bad travel luck confirmed]
So last spring break I thought, why don’t I drive home. I didn’t have a car, but my friend Lily did, and she lived just outside New York City. Eight hour drive home, take the train into the city, and from the city to the island. What could go wrong?
I got stuck in a blizzard for fifteen hours.
Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.
It’s been a weird week here at the Thrill. Always on some cutting edge, this week we’ve decided to delve headfirst into the Future™ that AI and machine learning have for us. One day, I’m assured by professors, targeted ads on Instagram, and Google’s AlphaGo, machines will be so efficient at doing everything, they’ll even be able to think for me! Thank GOD. Just as predicted, they’ve thought of some Thrill ideas for this week, and let me tell you, I sure am nervous.
Here’s a few prompts the bot came up with that we wanted to write, but just couldn’t match the bot’s intelligence:
Hot dog! Dounia gets lost in the meat sauce this weekend!
Footage credit: How It’s Made
Song credit: “Song for My Father” by Horace Silver
Hey. Look. Y’all knew this was coming. Tomorrow is Election Day. It’s important, and you’re gonna do this. I’m not arguing with you. I don’t care if both parties suck, I don’t care if you think it doesn’t really change anything, and I don’t care if you think that voting is a means of diverting the political and mental resources of the proletariat into dead-end politics instead of a worker’s revolution. I. DON’T. CARE. It’s voting time, and if you’re not doing it you’re AN ASSHOLE!
So. Here’s how to do it. You can early vote today if you so wish, from 8am to 2pm. The KAT shuttle will stop at the bookstore and Peirce, and bring you to Mount Vernon’s town square, very close to the Board of Elections.
On Election Day tomorrow, there will also be voting at the Gambier Community Center (where the Rummage Sale is!), and a shuttle will be running there all day from the bookstore. There will also be a March to the Polls at 11:10am in front of Peirce, where Kenyon students will march in droves to the Community Center to vote.
Here are the candidates on the ballot. You’re gonna need a valid ID (driver’s license, you know), the last four digits of your Social Security number, and proof of address (which was emailed to y’all. Just look up “Your Voter ID” and it’ll show up in your inbox).
Do it! Go VOTE.
Last Friday, ODEI and Unity House hosted a panel on Transphobia and Cis-Allyship in the wake of new legislation which threatens the legal and personal identity of trans people in America. The panel, hosted by co-leaders of Gender Group Micah Fisher ’21 (he/him) and Cat March (they/them), Teddy Hannah-Drullard ’20 (she/her or they/them), Professor Gilda Rodriguez (she/her), and ODEI’s Timothy Bussey (he/him) answered anonymously submitted questions having to do with resources for trans people and what cis people can do to be better allies.
Just in case you missed it, here are some of the questions answered by the panel.
Olin-Chalmers Memorial Library, 32, First Bae and Queen Mother, was destroyed this year in October 2018. Olin was erected in 1986, where it remained a weird “it’s two libraries in one building” hybrid for over three decades.