I’m not sure how this bit started, but some friends and I committed to make a roller skating outing before the end of the semester. We did some research, found a place about 40 minutes away called Roll-A-Way Skating Center in Newark, Ohio, and –wow!– our research revealed the place was open 24-hours on Saturdays. Okay, yes, fair, that seems like a red flag, but we trusted it. Upon our arrival, at 11:30 AM, we felt an initial wave of panic. The place looked sketchy as hell. But, damn, the parking lot was PACKED, so we still had hope. When we entered the lobby, we felt our bodies transported to another dimension. Kids were everywhere, clutching beautifully wrapped birthday presents for some kid named Daniel. It was the aesthetic of the lobby that really did a number on us. It felt like a family-owned, run-down carnival ride that had been passed down to some weird nephew named Scotty in Grampy Herbert’s will, and that weirdo Scotty converted it into a 24-hour roller skating rink for birthday parties. But alas. There was a fatal flaw in our plan. From the darkness, an adult man with a goatee emerged, who I can only assume is weird-Scotty, and he said to us, “There’s a private party happening today. You get our hours on the Google?” to which we replied yes. He then over-explained his personal feud with the multi-national technology company. The word “insidious” was used a minimum of 3 times. He apologized and hoped that, for our sake, one day “Google will be sued out of existence!” Anyway, we fled the scene and drove another hour to a different skating rink. We made sure to call and confirm their public skate hours, because goddammit, we would not be duped by that insidious Google again!
They say you always remember your first. Mine was a delectably gooey Monday Catchup by Grandma Thrill Mia Fox. But what was yours? Thanks to the great glory that is ~TecHNOloGY~ we were able to gather some of our favorite search terms that brought us our treasured readers. Tag yourself. I’m ‘peanut man.’
Hey fam! I’ve been in Dublin for the last couple of months now. It’s such a lovely city and has been such a privilege to study abroad here. Even more so than at Kenyon, it means that I’m extremely independent for the first time in my life having to cook for myself, buying my own dishes, and needing to -gasp- buy my own toilet paper. Of course, because I’m a hot mess of a person, this means that I’ve been reliant on google more so than ever. Segues are not my area of expertise, so without further ado here are some of my google searches that provided me with life-saving advice.
Contrary to popular belief, Gund is not one guy. Well, he is. But the people who made a bunch of our buildings aren’t. A quick google search revealed that the GUND Partnership is an architecture firm that partners with many schools including Denison and OSU to design some cool buildings for some campuses. Rumor has it that they’re really weird about trash cans and clocks in most of their buildings. Also, the partnership apparently made Storer acoustically shaped like a cello so that you could hear everything happening from everywhere in the building because they’re evil. Continue reading
I know what you like, Thrill readers: alcohol. And although your average blogger could’ve told you that college students enjoy a drink now and then, I’ve got the numbers to prove it. It’s all part of the multi-year journey that has culminated in my “winning” the Thrill, as my editor Nathaniel told me the other day in econ. What does it mean to win The Thrill? Let me explain.
Yesterday I spent 12 hours in bed. I went to my 9:40, and then I got in bed and slept through lunch, my 2:40, practice, and dinner. Then I got up to brush my teeth and then I went to bed for the night. In my defense, I was sick. To be fair I have a cold, I’m not like dying or something. I probably should have gotten out of bed but my sweatpants are comfy and SO MUCH SNOT and don’t you judge me, I see you judging me, STOP IT. At first I thought “this is not a day”. But actually, there are very minimal requirements for it to legitimately constitute “a day”. It’s all subjective, right?
Kenyon Community. What the heck is this?? On Google Maps, locating the KAC with satellite images turned on gives you the KENYON SPACE STATION.
Somebody call NASA! Ohio’s best and brightest may just be the next ones to the moon.