OMG BECKY I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN 5EVR!!!! (via nytimes.com)

Dear Kenyon,

I know a decent number of you, and a decent number of you know me; I’m that self-obsessed chick who can’t seem to stop talking about farts. We’re familiar to an extent, right? Can we agree on that? Cool.

Now that we’ve established and defined our relationship, I’m going to give you some super friendly advice.

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