Guide: How to Mathematically Determine the Fastest Routes on Campus

Close your eyes.

Somewhere, out in the woods, the distant call of a songbird beckons the dawn of a new day. Set against the white plaster, gentle streams of sunlight slowly drift across the walls of your room, boldly silhouetted against half-drawn blinds. Silently, the bed frame groans under pressure, as you roll over onto the far side of the mattress, straddling the cool wall with outstretched palms. Greedily you savor a final deep breath, holding firm, only relenting when you sense the wall release alongside you. You can feel it, right? You’re in sync. All that now lies between you and the brink of fulfillment is the hesitation of the morning mist. In a sudden burst, you return to your back, reach for your phone, and pry open teary eyes to check what time it is on this perfect March morning.

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Frozen Middle Path: It’s Really Not That Funny

Pretty, but not worth it.

Pretty, but not worth it.

The ice has descended. And if you had the absolute displeasure of walking through the Gates of Hell over the weekend, you experienced the equivalent of a perfectly Zamboni’d ice rink instead of the familiar Middle Path gravel. I was slowly shuffling north through the Gates of Hell one evening, and heard a sickening crack behind me. The familiar sound of someone crashing to the icy ground resonates all too well, and I knew how he would be feeling that in the morning. Continue reading