First-Years You Will Accidentally Converse With In The Common Room

In order to find the people you click with at Kenyon, you have to be willing to put yourself out there. And what I’ve learned during my two months on this hill is that “out there” usually means out of the comfort of your dorm and into your building’s common room. Maybe you could even find your future spouse there, scrolling through their phone on a 20-year-old leather couch, who knows! But while this is a sure possibility, it’s also likely that you’ll have to talk to a variety of characters before finding your people. These are just some of them.

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It Happened to Me: A Collection of One-Line Stories


We all have fun stories about meeting celebrities, punching windows, and being stood up by our professors that have so many twists and turns that not even a full post can thoroughly cover. However, some stories only need a single sweet line to burst into the world. Here are some of the Thrill Editors’ best, and shortest, “It Happened to Me”s.

“Campo caution taped up all the doors in Horvitz during a blackout while I was still inside.”

“I threw up in old side and just left it there.”

“I drunkenly tried to have phone sex in the middle of a Taft party.”

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[Student-Info] Sims Construction Update – Phase 2 Initiated


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Kenyon Student #1 fleeing from the police


Attention all Kenyon College students, faculty, and simulated critters: the Kenyon 2020 Plan is now shifting from Phase 1 into Phase 2. Read on to see the first images of the new Kenyon library. Also, please be aware of recent mod glitches––we’ve recently noticed modular units popping up on Peirce lawn, which definitely isn’t part of the plan, right?  Continue reading

Weekend Playlist: Graham Gund’s Triumphant Arrival


Dear Graham,

I think I speak for all of us when I say, thank God you’re coming to campus.You are a man of astute pedigree, and it has been too long. I have a request for you. More of a demand but it’s all like whatevs. So The Thrill is really scraping the bottom of the barrel for funds as of late. Times are tough. We are asking for $500,000 in cold, hard cash. Bundle it, place it in a briefcase, and stand in the Fusion line at 12:16pm for lunch on February the 25th. Once there, ask for three eggs with your panko rice. The AVI staffer behind the glass will then take the case, you enjoy your panko rice, and life goes on. Simple.

Each day you do not give the $500,ooo to us, a clock will be placed in one of your beautifully designed buildings on campus. If after 10 days we have not received this money in full, we will start adding trashcans to your beautifully designed buildings.

To reflect communal feelings about your return to campus, I have curated a musical playlist! Enjoy.

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