Tonight’s list comes to us once again from Thea Goodrich, guest contributor extraordinaire.
Unless you live in the ‘burbs, the Bexleys or Caples, the Health Center probably seems really far away. Unless you only get sick/crash your bike/need an Ace bandage on Mondays through Fridays, it also probably seems frustratingly unavailable. (Fun fact: like the Registrar’s office, the Health Center used to be closed from noon to 1:00 p.m. I know, right?!) But as we get closer and closer to the Months of Doom where the Krud reigns supreme, you should probably begin to familiarize yourself with what the Center has to offer. Unfortunately, if you contract swine flu you will simply have to inconvenience your roommate rather than being snugly quarantined up north in Sparrow House. (Second fun fact: That is the building’s official name. The website tells me so.)
The Health Center can, however, take your temperature, give you flu shots, wrap your arm in a puffable cuff, test you for all manner of various diseases, sign off on your physicals, assure you that allergies do not constitute the plague, provide permission to catch up on sleep, affirm that you haven’t grown an inch taller since ninth grade, provide pharmacy prescriptions, dress your Art Barn wounds, request a special “I’m on crutches”-type parking pass, alleviate your seasonal maladies and suggest that if you are coughing up a lung, it would be wise to skip the next rager.
If you don’t think you are in need of those services just yet, here are five other compelling reasons to make the trek up north (which, if you do it rapidly enough, may constitute one-third of the recommended daily amount of exercise).