The Monday Catchup

It’s Saturday night. You’re two beers and one jell-o shot deep at a friend’s party. Why did you take that jell-o shot? Well it’s over now, and you’re feeling buzzed. Maybe you’re even feeling tipsy. Perfect. The party hosts are playing the BEST song (for the record that song is Tipsy – Club Mix by J-Kwon). Channeling the jell-o you bounce back and forth, making the rounds. Then you spot that one guy. You know who I’m talking about. He’s the guy you see sometimes in line at Fusion. Yeah. That one. You tell yourself to play it cool and keep chatting up your friends. He is probably into that freshman girl anyway. The one who posts a ton of bikini pics. Yeah. That one. Wait, he’s walking towards you. Yes? No? Yes. He locks eyes and grabs your hand to dance. How long did you dance? It could have been 10 seconds. It could have been an hour. You talk about class and life and each other all the while you are sure he can smell jell-o on your breath. Why did you take that jell-o shot? Just when you think he’s about to leave, he leans in. His lips travel to your ear and he whispers, in a voice barely audible above the Club Mix of Tipsy by J-Kwon, “how was your weekend?”

It’s the Monday Catchup.

“I got catfished. After that I got a Wiggins Mocha.”

Continue reading

Advertisements

Things I Realized Over Winter Break Are Only Socially Acceptable at Kenyon

I’ve had a hunch for a while that I’ve slowly developed a mild version of Stockholm Syndrome with Kenyon College. It comes on slowly, starting with a positive sentiment towards living in a one-and-a-half restaurant town. It finally becomes incurable with the onset of a nose ring infatuation and a sensation of terror because of the abundance of tampon options at the local Trader Joe’s. Since there are very few similarities between rural Ohio and Houston (besides the raging conservatives), I am reminded over breaks that there are a lot of things that are ONLY socially acceptable on Kenyon’s campus and are fully bizarre out in the real world:

Continue reading

Valentines As Mediocre As You Are

Valentines As Mediocre As You Are
top

don’t look at me just send me a text or whatever

Look, whether you’re into it or not, Valentine’s Day is coming up fast. Some people think it’s fun, some people think it’s dumb, either way it’s on Sunday and there’s nothing you can do about that. If you’re in the market for putting asymptotically close to zero amount of thought into your V-Day charades, allow me to help. You can peruse our past postings of incredible/fun/witty Valentines made by student artists, or you can check out (and print!) these garbage ones I made just for you. Whatever floats your trash. Continue reading

Grindr: A How-To

Grindr-Lets-talk

via polarimagazine.com

Ah, Grindr at Kenyon.  Sometimes I love it, sometimes it makes me want to throw my phone off of the Caples roof and then run it over with a Campus Safety golf cart. So, basically, it’s a mixed bag.

However, Grindr etiquette is complicated, and I’m sure a lot of you have questions. So, I will try to answer some of them, using my experience as a gay man who browses Grindr as a basis for my knowledge.  Am I an expert?  By no means.  Do I think I am?  Of course.

Continue reading

Hilltop Hook-Ups

This image was simply entitled "boyfriends" and is now framed in my room.

This image was simply entitled “boyfriends” and is now framed in my room.

You’ve seen us cry. You’ve seen us hurl. Now, watch us make out! After compiling responses from our staffers via an anonymous survey, The Thrill has painstakingly mapped out all of its contributors’ past hook-up spots, including some pretty embarrassing ones. Check them out after the jump!

Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Reasons the Sophomore Slump is Real

We will get through this with finesse, sophomores.

We will get through this with finesse, sophomores.

Sophomore year starts with such hope. Your first year is over, and you begin to hope that your college experience will continue on the exponential rise you got into at the end of last year. However, as hard as you may fight the “sophomore slump,” it came as sure as the first snow came to Gambier before Thanksgiving. For those of you who don’t believe in this phenomenon, here are a few ways you might be experiencing it and you just don’t even realize it yet.

Continue reading

Valentines for Hook-Ups

Valentine’s Day is one of those things that the human race either loves or hates, and this depends mostly on your relationship status. The lovers love it, the singles hate it, and everyone is tired of hearing about it. Right?

WRONG. There is another subset of the population, perhaps even the biggest, whose struggles get sorely overlooked during this time of year: the hook-ups. Whether it’s been a steady thing for a few months now, or you made the mistake of doing it last night, now you have to face a day that stares you in the face, screaming at you to define things in an even more terrifying way than you and your hook-up’s last drunken conversation.

But fear no more! The Thrill has created some handy valentines catered just to your delicate situation (Hallmark, feel free to e-mail us). Check them out after the jump!

Continue reading