Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Do I have a story for you! Ever wondered what happens when you dump an entire bowl of (literally) boiling noodle water all over your two leggies very late on a Saturday night? Me freaking neither, but I sure as heck found out last weekend! Buckle up, folks, because you’re in for an article-long rant about why you should never let me near any sort of kitchen appliance ever again! I present to you: The Noodle Incident. No noodles were harmed in the making of this article. Just kidding. They were harmed. My laptop was harmed. I was harmed. Everything is pain. Enjoy.